Oh! Where to start?? It’s been an eventful week, but especially disastrous last few days.
We’re in Charleston at the hospital, where we’ve spent the last few days. My boyfriend had the most atrocious freak accident of all time resulting in unfathomable pain, life flights, and emergency surgery. I’m still so shocked. I can’t even imagine how shook he is….
It was getting pretty late, I’d just put the kids to bed. Caleb and I were talking outside… There was this stool, a stupid metal Walmart stool that we’d been utilizing in Matilda since we had a fold down table… It had broke the day before and Caleb had thrown it out… I should’ve put it in the trash… but my stupid “fix it” mind sat it up to see how it was broken. I should’ve thrown it away. I should’ve put it back down on the ground, not leave it sitting up….
Caleb was talking and doing a little pacing getting rid of the last of the day’s energy before we were going to head towards bed. I couldn’t have foreseen the terrible sequence of events. I thought about mentioning not to sit on that stool, and I should’ve. I have so many regrets. It’s a hard thing to walk through in my mind, at every step asking myself how this could have happened and how it could’ve been prevented. The worst coulda woulda shoulda of my life.
So, I had a broken stool, I didn’t get rid of the broken stool, I didn’t interrupt Caleb talking to say anything about the stool…. And he went to sit.
The stool collapsed. I saw his body crumple. I heard screams of terror and pain and Caleb writhing backwards before rolling to the side. A jagged part of the stool had penetrated him. The blood was oozing through the seat of the shorts. He shakily asked about the ER…
I immediately located the closest and got him there. While at admittance there the vibe felt very much like they assumed we’d been doing something sexual and it wasn’t too serious. The attending nurse did come out fairly quickly and got us to a bed.
I know that ER’s and doctors in general and procedure of bureaucracy take a long time. I don’t want to come off as impatient or flippant about anything. It truly felt like this staff gave no care at all. They acted as if it may not be emergent. One nurse was downright rude when Caleb yelled out in intense pain that he needed help as his bandages were getting soaked for the second time and pain relief took hours to arrive. The RN was standing right outside in the hallway making loud jokes to EMT workers, but when Caleb called for help in his misery “Please, God! SOmebody help me! I think I’m dying!” She decided it was the time to come tell him he’d catch more flies with honey than vinegar and other patients were trying to sleep.
He collected himself in this intense situation and apologized in tears. I started shaking in my own despair. How could they be so nonchalant? This RN lady literally had her nursing assistant do all the work from bandaging to paper work, running different patients while she had a good time talking to Ambulance drivers and EMT’s. The doctor was trying to be kind, but he also didn’t quite seem to grasp the severity until the radiologist looked at the CT. He ordered an emergency med evac, the NA frantically trying to find us a bed in CAMC. They realized he could’ve punctured his intestines, bladder, and any number of other organs…. As soon as I knew where he was going to go, I kissed him goodbye and rushed out to prepare for our own trip to be there.
I prepped myself in a frenzy and was on the road in what felt like no time, doing all the shuffles.
I don’t generally pick the shortest route without recon, I I certainly did that this time and ended up going the straightest path with the most curves and hills. The bus was a mess. I was a mess. At first I drove in silence, but I figured a little music would maybe get my mind wandering a little away from the terror. Oh it didn’t. I drove crying intermittently. Worrying so hard. Petting his doggo Scraps and telling him things like “we’re gonna see him again!” Praying that I’m being honest to this dog at this momrnt.
I got into the parking lot at 3:30 AM. The kids hadn’t fallen back asleep after the switching and nonsense. I tucked them in right as a knock from the security guard came to ask me what I was doing here. I explained the situation and he went back to his post. Even though this hospital is fairly downtown, it’s being closely monitored and for minor fees. It gave me a little ensurance to give the kids a chance at sleep instead of dragging them into the frenzy of the emergency room. Leaving my phone with them, I located the entry and got guided to where Caleb was laid up.
They’d finally really started managing his pain once he got into the bumpy helicopter ride, but his nurse, John, was like angel status. The doctors had come through to give Caleb the worst news possible. Downright most severe prognostics of colostomy bag for life, never climbing again, possible surgery cut from chest bone to pelvis…. Caleb was in the deepest despair when I arrived and John moved right in, telling him about his other colostomy bag patients, reassuring him as he prepped a round of meds including the antibiotics and tetanus shot Caleb requested in desperate fear of infection and sepsis. He really talked him down and within a little bit Caleb asked me in tears if I’d even still be with him if he had a bag of poo hanging out of his side. What do you think I said? I said I would empty his poo for him for the rest of his life. That I’m here for him as the beautiful human he is and his body is nice addition, but I’m so in love, I can’t imagine this life without him anymore…
I did a lot of running back and forth checking. The entry people really got to know my face, buzzing me through… The surgeons were kind from gastro to urinology, after some scans they pointed out that they can’t say for sure until the surgery but it looks like lower quadrants so possibly 6-12 months of colostomy bags… His mindset oscillated between complete despair and blame seeking to expressing deep sincere gratitude for me being there and bringing Scraps.
Surgery time was betwixing. It was a relief to know his was currently unaware of his pain and that these experts were being thorough and doing their best to save his way of life to the best of their ability. They were smiling when they came out. Caleb and I had prayed for miracles in this disaster, and he got one! The destruction went just enough left to avoid the intestine but had punctured the bladder which had already formed a clot. Caleb was so relieved that the colostomy bag was avoided, although a catheter was still placed for a few weeks.
They put him in recovery to wake up where he slept for at least three hours. While I was balancing checking on Caleb, dogs and running the kids around with me, the surgery waiting room lady named Linda told me about the clay center of arts to possibly take the kids to, but when I mentioned the dogs, she guided us towards a nice dog park with playground right next to it and handed me a little money for the parking fee. She really was on top of checking with the nurses and seeing where he was at and where he was going next….
His cousin arrived a little before we got to go see him. He called me to let me know where he was because they apparently weren’t going to tell me. The four of us rushed up together. He looked super sore and worn out but smiled at us coming in. Within a few minutes a nurse came to inform us that the kids weren’t welcome in the ward until they’re 14. I huffed, but kissed Caleb and left him to talk to his cousin, Matt, so I could take the everythings to the park for some cooling down.
After the heat of the day was over, we came back to the parking lot. Matt was so kind to bring the kids some milkshakes and be with them while I went to be with Caleb for as long as I could.
It’s been a couple of days now. Time really moves weird in these situations…. He’s currently trying to get release papers organized and filed. We’ve got such lovely friends checking in on Caleb! His climbing partner, Abby has been trying to find the best way to help us get through this time. She made a gofundme and is looking for a little space for us to be in while Caleb is healing. Here’s the link with the kind words: https://gofund.me/f0018d04
She’s an amazing human which is definitely portrayed in her caring words and actions. Feeling SO blessed for Caleb to have such support, especially right now.
It’s really hard to focus on something besides so much tragedy. I definitely feel like I’m leaving a lot out, while also probably being too descriptive.
There’s been rays of hope in the monstrosity of this super freak accident, but even the days before then were so beautiful, it’s a shame I didn’t write about the joy before all of this happened. I don’t want this post to be so tragic, though the situation certainly warrants it…. Time the security just came to check on if we’re ok in the heat and letting us know that we’re ok, but if we decide that we need anything he’d help us find a better spot, suggesting we check out the cranberry glades in pocahontas county.
However, These joys will still fill us with joy once the omnipresence of hospital and healing process over the next few months.
I had Shannon contact me over facebook asking about the kids clothing sizes. She wanted to help us out, not only by giving us the coolest air freshener with a picture of Matilda printed on it but also a couple of outfits a piece, a wendy’s gift card, and some very delightful snack bag.
That same day I headed to the swim spot and Aaron and Mackenna were there. The kids beelined their way to them. While they were gathering up their stuff, Aaron came up to tell me that he’d decided to give me and the kids his old inflatable paddle board inclusive of pump , backpack, and paddle! I”m just so amazed and grateful! What an amazing day of kindness!We pumped it up and took it right on out to look along the cliff sides, finding a lunar moth drowning in the water, we took it for a ride to go look at the little waterfall, where the kids swam under to get the sprinkle feeling on their heads.
Soooo hopefully he’s being discharged soon. We’ll head back towards our campsite after running some errands. We’ll be heading back to Charleston before too long. The rest of the plan is Child, caleb, and dog care. Oh and some self care and world care always mixed in.
I’m a busy bee. I’m strong. I’m capable. I’m so grateful he’s got a solid path of healing. I’d be grateful for any/all support!
On that note, I must reitterate that we do run mainly on your kind donations and I greatly appreciate your contributions. Every little bit helps and gets us to explore just a little more of this exciting world. I accept donations via CashApp: $MatildaBugus and paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/matildabugus
If you’d like to peek at our Amazon wishlist follow the link below. We really appreciate those special wants/wishes/deferred needs finding their way to us possibly via your help! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3LUAOP5L0M5FY?ref_=wl_share
We now have merchandise ready for you to order! Represent and support at the same time! We love these shirts and we love you! Check it out!
https://matildabugus.bigcartel.com
CashApp: $Matilda.Bugus
Venmo: available upon request.
Feel more than free to Contact me. You can establish such via the Contact Me page here on the blog, OOOOOOOORRR! get on your facebooks and join the group “Spotting Bugus” or like the Matilda Bugus Page. Also availble on Instagram, Youtube, and the TikToks.
I did a bunch of processing and composing for my growth and process. I got the kids new workbooks for their new school year and spoke to the super intendent about the home school registration of the kids…. Life certainly moves in weird and unexpected ways, but move it does…
Deep breaths! I hope you didn’t have a tragic accident within your life in the last week. I hope you’ve got so many beautiful things to be grateful for
Again, the link to abby’s gofundme: https://gofund.me/f0018d04
Matilda the Bugus 