Ay! Lovely internet dwelling human being! It’s been a minute since I posted anything and that’s because I’ve been busy sorting my brain. Important stuff I tell you what.
I’ve had 2 therapy sessions so far and another coming up. My brain fog has been gone for a few days and I utilized my energy in this heat, to take the kids swimming. First by the river not far from Omi’s house and also to the Bozeman Hot Springs. They’d been raising their prices incredibly so my fam was all “don’t go there!” but I hadn’t been doing much with the kids except chores and unfun for them, so I said I would take them anyway and splurge. They lowered their prices a little weet! Not much but ya, worth it for a few hours of not swimming in extreme cold, but chillaxen in some warmer temps. Full disclosure my belly looks like a zebra.
I also took them to the splash pad which took two attempts to finally get to as it was closed for maintnance on the first try. They are such water rats though and really enjoy anytime we’re close to cool liquid (as in not lava😉) I tried registering them for swim classes at Bogart pool, but everything’s booked out and they charge $20 extra for non-bozeman residents which includes all neighboring towns. None of these have public pools or options so I think it’s beyond stupid to charge extra to people who already need to spend more money on fuel to get there. But at the hot springs they did so well floating on their backs, diving under, going in without floaties, and jumping into the pool. I really need to take them swimming more.
I haven’t done anything with the skeleton that is that trailer project, except for cleaning up the mess around and in it and purchasing some things to continue the project but never really getting to it. I have looked into getting a ready-made trailer hoping for anything viable around 2k. We even drove all the way to Columbus to look at a 27ft trailer with a bathtub in it. It might’ve been a good option for us but the tires on it were sketch at best and I didn’t want to put all of my money into something that might not even make it back to my mom’s without blowing tires. Even the spare was already blown out. The kids and I had been so excited for this option. Thinking we’d have a full house being towed behind the bus, then Matilda could’ve been our chill art zone with kids seats and maybe a plant sun room up in the bug. My brother did point out that towing all the weight may not be good for our transmission. So I’ve also thought about getting a bigger bus and transplanting Bugus.
Oryan messaged me complaining that he wasted 3 weeks of his life and 1,300$. My mom said not to even reply to him, but I did because he’s the one that left the “8hour project” unfinished after 3 weeks and wouldn’t communicate with me about what he wanted from me, from hands on help, to getting laid, but I’m not a prostitute and trade labor for my body. He refused to communicate with me until he got so frustrated that he left. I’m sorry that it happened that way, but I’ve also got my boundaries and a long list of to-do’s and I had a mental fog that I still feel to be near at hand so I’m not over exerting myself. And on the level of communication, I want to say that if you disagree with a friend so hard that you eat it into yourself instead of communicating with them about it, then you’re not being a friend, you’re being a poor acquaintance. Pretending your friendship is solid or being comfortable with it and then dumping years worth of discontentment on another human because it’s not meeting your expectations and calling their apologies gaslighting, especially when you’d never previously voiced any of your discrepancies with this other human…. it’s not actually being a friend. Tip toeing around someone isn’t fun and a friendship should have some of that element. When I spoke with my therapist about this, wondering how toxic of a human I am, she remarked that it was very unkind and compassionless of this human to dump onto me as if it’s my fault that she’s held on to all these topics.
I also want to remark that we all have toxicity within us. I am sorry if anything I’ve done or said affected you in a negative manner ever, especially if it was an action of inattention or neglect. I do have a lot on my plate and going on in my life and that’s not inclusive of my mental state.
So back to the subject, life: Besides looking into different trailer options (it’s not like I can sell the skeleton we’re working on as I don’t have the title, so maybe I’ll be returning such to the Original owner) I’ve also thought about taking a little break and finding a spot to sit for a few months- a year. from Oregon to Nola, to staying in Montana. The kids said they’d like to do the school thing. it’s been a couple years since Atreyu was in public school and it’d be Galixy’s turn to try out Kindergarten whilst Atreyu is heading into 2nd grade. Though Galixy is already almost done with her K curiculum.
Getting into government/low income housing or maybe even considering switching back to home country for better child education also sounds very “forever” and therefore less appealing. My therapist mentioned that formal schooling is integral to a child’s success later in life but her examples were algebra and science and those are Atreyu’s favorite workbook subjects and also often visited in various museums, so I don’t think that’s a valid argument to sway me from our current life, not that this was her objective.
Both kids had their yearly doctors visit and everything is beyond awesome on and for them. Atreyu is in the lowest percentile physically, but always has been so nobody was concerned about it. Both have very good eyes and hearing and I’m very proud of how amazingly human they are. Galixy is now napping since we woke up early to get to the appointment. In about 9 days we have dentist appointments for them. Atreyu is getting his molars capped and poor Galixy is having a couple cavities filled.
I also had a wonderful dinner with my (ex) step parent, Cindy. We had Sushi and some drinks and discussed life and future and a little past. I do hope that this connection will be refreshed as she was present through some of my very formative years and greatly contributed to the human I’ve become. I wonder if she’d still see me as overly naive as she said she saw me as about 7 years ago.
Ooooh, speaking to a friend who has a full sized bus with gas engine about trades, which she’ll probably be turned off by considering I’m not sure I want to trade the Bug with our contraption. It’s our billboard and pull to attention. Life is pretty interesting.
Grateful for all these ups and downs. In the downs we really get to see who our friends are.
Anyway! wish me luck! I do still have all kinds of needs and gofundme’s open in hope to get our show back on the road. Seems the kids are as willing and wanting for road life as for school-life, so I don’t know. Lots of options makes it hard too
At this point, I must say that we do run on donations and I greatly appreciate your contributions. Every little bit helps and gets us to explore just a little more of this exciting world. I accept donations via CashApp: $MatildaBugus and paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/matildabugus
If you’d like to peek at our Amazon wishlist follow the link below. We really appreciate those special wants/wishes/deferred needs finding their way to us possibly via your help! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3LUAOP5L0M5FY?ref_=wl_share
We now have merchandise ready for you to order! Represent and support at the same time! We love these shirts and we love you! Check it out!
https://matildabugus.bigcartel.com
Also I started this campaign: https://gofund.me/cbaa9246 I very much hope to get any support. share this link or share some love or something. We need help.
Thank you very much for y’all in all. I hope you stay grateful and have a wonderful day!
May you share smiles!!
Matilda the Bugus 