I’m screaming in existential. Matilda Bugus is empty and I feel empty and hopeless. I mean I’m still having to pull out most of the wood platform in the bug and the bus paneling and the floor and the insulation.
I had a motivation hit me yesterday. I knew that if I started pulling stuff in the morning time, I’d get some stuff done, more so than if I wait until afternoon. And as I expected once all the things I deemed safe were out and I started getting on the hard parts to pull, I got grossed out by the bug presence (apparently heating it didn’t work so well and they’re insecticide proof?) So I started a fire to burn them beasts and as all the screws and things were plastered shut from last years latex painting, I got the sledgehammer and went to town on it. I really did a good job sealing them bitches in last year. Now they’re all burny. I mean, maybe not all….
This morning I attacked the slide out bed I built last year and I started taking the sawzsaw to the wood upstairs.
I’m fucking scared. I’m beyond sad and impatient. All I want is that those bugs disappear and that this house of mine may be the most beautiful it ever has been, but I’m scared of how much work there is ahead of us. I am wanting to use as little wood as possible not just because it’s expensive as hell but also a bug conduit. I’m stressed about the mess I put in my mom’s garage. She’s not a fan of chaos and I know she feels stressed by all of this, but she’s trying to be as understanding about it as possible. I’m also stressed worried about transferring bugs and picking them back up or giving them away. I just want them to die and that’s such a violent thought it scares me too. It’s like a big mix of feelings that I can’t quite explain. I feel like I’m starting below 0 since I still have all the mechanical things I should do to do like flushing the radiator, fixing the computer plug-in plug, and finding the OD malfunction. The only real reason not to just get a new bus is because not only do I not have the money to buy a new frame and engine, I also don’t want to be ignorant to the mechanical workings of a new machine. At least with Matilda we know where we’re at…. mostly.
On that note, I don’t believe I have the funds to get this all done. If you could help me out some (more) now would be the time to look at the “contribute” page or part. I’m considering opening a go fund me for 10k. It’d make Bugus super fancy with all the frugalities I do.
My break from the destruction work for writing this blog, eating jalapeno poppers and drinking a fruit smoothie for breakfast. The kids are looking at books and jumping outside on the trampoline. Atreyu is planning on accompanying Omi to the farmers market. Galixy got offered a chance to go to as Atreyu promised he’d look out for his little sister š„°ā£ļø but the stipulation was to fix her messy tangle of hair. So far she’s decided to stay here, though I’ll probably be dealing with the mess anyway even before they leave. We’ll see what today brings.
I need a welder. Like a machine and/ or human. I’m scared about the bug thing…. like the car not just the gross beasts.
Oryan is going slow and thorough on the trailer. I’ve not been much help on it and he’s been hurtingĀ himself left and right about it. I’m not much of a nurse about it either. I hope for the best on all levels.
I’m a mess and Matilda is a mess and that’s where we’re gonna leave this at for right now. I do hope you’re grateful and have a smile to share!
At this point, I must say that we do run on donations and I greatly appreciate your contributions. Every little bit helps and gets us to explore just a little more of this exciting world. I accept donations via CashApp: $MatildaBugus and paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/matildabugus
If you’d like to peek at our Amazon wishlist follow the link below. We really appreciate those special wants/wishes/deferred needs finding their way to us possibly via your help! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3LUAOP5L0M5FY?ref_=wl_share
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https://matildabugus.bigcartel.com
Matilda the Bugus 