Good day friendly hoomans. I do hope y’all are well and doing things that are good for you.
My kids are up and bothering the lovely niece. She is such a joy to bother in her preteen existence. Like this morning I threw an egg at her while she was still in bed. She didn’t know it was boiled a couple days ago and thought that I chucked a raw egg at her so her facial expression was certainly priceless as the egg zoomed through the air. I figure if I throw a couple more boiled eggs at her throughout the day, the reaction will be even more awesome if I end up chucking a raw egg later on. I’m more than willing to clean up that mess at the price of her reaction.
I’ve been pulling my bus apart of all the bedding and cloth things. Crikett brought us a tent and it’s heaven not to go to sleep trying to ignore the bugs crawling seeking a soft spot to bite into. Turns out my mom had some bugs living with her, too. When I checked her bed I immediately started calling exterminators around the area to get quotes for treating my bus and her bedroom. Just a heads up, Bed bug extermination is costly AF. So after speaking to a few different companies some of which turning my bus away and others charging just for an inspection to confirm the bug problem, I just got my get up and go and started pulling my mom’s bed apart as much as possible with a steamer, vaccum, and crowbar at hand. I bashed more bugs with the crowbar than I pried things apart with it. It was a huge headboard and drawer bedframe and after a couple hours work I convinced my mom to bid it “good-bye.”
My mom has no conceptualization of the situation we’re in. She helped me carry a couple pieces out of her room but her mind was preoccupied with where she was to sleep that night. She asked her dog this question with a sidenote of my ignoring her about it so I told her that my mind was preoccupied with ridding her sleeping space of blood sucking pests at that moment. Bedding stuff and things were already being washed and dried and the tempurpedic mattress was leaning up since bugs don’t go into that material. Once I’d steamered and vaccumed the floor where her bedframe had stood I did ask her how she wanted me to put her mattress back in and if there was anything else I could do to make her comfortable again.
The kids and I slept on the couch that day since I was too tired to set up a tent after all that work. Guess who got bit by bugs whilst sleeping on the couch. That’s right. I did! So the next day I was back at debugging our bed things to put them into the tent and pulling that little couch off while my mom worried about losing her newly purchased sectional. I feel that in my soul. I also don’t want to sacrifice furniture to an infestation. I don’t want to spend money on something I JUST had to spend money on, but I’m also not willing to have my family live in a place infested with blood sucking, procreating, pests. If I CAN contain and eradicate these without spending more money than necessary and losing more material “wealth” than necessary, I will. If I can keep any part of my family from being the sustenance of a parasite, you know I will. And you know I’m not going to wait a couple months to get it done either. Not being breakfast or dinner is like a top priority.
My dad brought me an insecticide. The same day my doctor gave me paperwork about bedbugs that includes a section stating that if you’re suffering from mental health because of bedbugs ya probably shouldn’t be the one to be fighting the fight as you’re more likely to engage in dangerous and harmful behavior in the process. I am by no means doubting that or rescinding my own previous statements about anything. I fully comprehend that the behavior I would engage in with little thought would be to make the insecticide stronger than needed and not protect my skin properly while going on an eradication spree. But let’s be real, though I WANT to do so, I’m decidedly less of a risk taker than my “crazy” wants me to be. Also, I’ve gotten plenty of warnings about this that I do wish to heed and not endanger myself or others about it. The stuff dries in 4-5 hours and after that it’s non toxic to humans and animals. I figure if I spray some good chunks of my mom’s house and my bus and within a week heat and spray my bus, those bastards will be gone. Does this kind of blog entry need a trigger warning talking like this? I feel so violent.
Something else we got to do was have a wonderful fire and hot dog grilling with Crikett. Atreyu didn’t want to come this time, so it was just Galixy, Rhea and I. We all missed him, but on the other hand it gave Galixy and Silas a pretty even playing field. It was great getting to hang out with my oldest active friend. It also makes me realize I should reach out to my other local friends to even let them know we’re here. My to-do list just keeps growing as I realize all the things I wish to get done while also receiving a chore list per this house and property. The bigger the to-do list the less likely it gets touched. I also realize that all our to-do lists are a never ending and compiling thing so I am trying my best to do all I can, it’s just not helpful when there’s a person muttering how it’s all on their shoulders. It’s all on everyones shoulders. Life is upon our shoulders because we are living and have shoulders. Self care is a priority.
So, at the fire with Crikett we conceptualized some about the work plan and bounced some ideas around but the main part was just being around some humans I’ve dearly missed. Obviously, Crikett most, but her little creations are such beautiful things. One’s smile is so consistent and infectious and the other has grown into a real child of superb communication. I’m having troubles trying to complement because my mind is trying to pull apart how it could even sound not like a compliment when all intention is so full of love. As the example of saying the child “has grown into” I’m also not trying to say he wasn’t precocious before either, just merely acknowledging the large spurt I observed which comes from the amount of time of separation. Also, the more the years pass the more I like Sam, too. I’ve always appreciated the solidity and presence he is for my friend. They are a very well matched couple and it’s amazing and awesome to be allowed to observe such consistency or commitment or whatever it is. I’m not pretending to know everything in their lives or the definitions of what I’m seeing, but I really appreciate this family and I’m really trying my best to get all y’all readers to see how awesome each of them is. I know they know but do you know?
I wrote that last sentence with different perspectives of reader reading it, so there’s a few connotations to it, and fittingly so.
Oryan is also heading this way for helping on the trailer build. He got his ducks into a basket and lined up his eggs and is on his way.
Ah I smell chaos encroaching and it will all be fascinating and spectacular to watch and be part of.
On that note, haha, my dad coming by was a good little visit. He gave me great advice on being safe with the insecticide and we talked about a couple of Matilda’s problems, which gave me a bit more confidence about my bus being and staying my bus than anything else. My bonus mom didn’t come along but I’m assuming it’s because she loves burying herself in her work. I will be happy to see them both again soon and hopefully hear some stories of where they’ve been puttering around. I guess I have a tendency to over share and not knowing what toes I shouldn’t step on, but I’m just living my life.
I don’t know how to explain my relationship with my mom. She’ll ask me a question and when I respond in the likes of the question especially when I’m in a good mood it seems my mom gets very offended. She’s said she feels like I speak down on her, which becomes more obvious the more the conversation goes on as it seems to me she starts to speak down on me. Like when we rode in her car and she offered me a cheese snack that had been sitting in her car for more than 3 days, and I said “No thanks I don’t like my dairy warmed.” her retort was that I carry such snacks in the bus therefore it’s no different than this cheese. I pointed out that it was certainly different since my bus is a bus and not a car. It downward spiraled from there. I feel like she got offended that I dare make joke at the expense of her snack? Got defensive about her understanding of how vehicles work in sunlight and disregarded all previous conversations we’ve had. Besides having had a conversation about food on my bus the night before during dinner, she had been present the year I organized my bus into not having a fridge or cooler because a drawer at floorboard level keeps cool enough and suffices for the amount of things I need to keep cool on the regular. That’s all besides the point but good knowledge about bus capabilities. See, my mom and I don’t talk about our problems with each other, from my perspective, because anything I say about my life she either takes as an attack on herself as if I was faulting someone if not myself anyway, or as something she didn’t seem to want to hear about anyway. All conflict we have is at each others throats and ending in passive aggressive silence. She definitely read the last blog post where I was feeling very unwelcomed and instead of talking to me she sat in silence about it most of the day. My brother was the one to explain more about why that bed was sold and things changed, which I never actually thought was like a personal family attack against me, just like there was no consideration for my kids again which is a big trend in my family. I’m fine if I’m not wanted here, but my kids should be allowed to experience some grand-parental love. Like not even trying to compare anybody’s experience with their grandparent. All my kids want is face to face time and to help and be helped. They’re young enough and now at an age where they’re old enough, too.
Now I’ve sat here and mused for WAY too long. Like this diminishes my to-do list. No it’s an addition. I need to do other phone work. Like I’m designing tshirts! I’m a fluffing trying. I got the wix to do and maybe a patreon? And finding a therapist has been a doozy, as well as getting the kids doctor appointments squared away that also need me to print a form before we get there, cleaning up is obviously always on the list as well as feeding my kids which has been extended to feeding everyone for dinner time or at least making sure that everyone will be fed for dinner, my bug problems and my glow plugs as well as flushing the radiator, possibly finding where the computer reading plug has a disconnect, so I can have it tell me which sensor needs to be checked, deciding which things I need to sort through and which things must be replaced impending doom. Trying to deal with my own life from the bottom up, I’m also supplying willing poop rakers and stick collectors. I deep clean easily overlooked spots and have taken the tree trimming on the property upon myself. I’m not a professional so I’m sure my work isn’t excellent, but taking dead branches and thickets is property health. My point right now is that I don’t make my life easier by coming here but that’s not always acknowledged. Having and making doctors visits is like another one of those things I don’t like but have a quasi commitment to doing.
Le garble. My niece says she’ll help me edit videos! How cool would that be if I could pay my niece to hone some video editing skills. She thought it was cool that we have a youtube channel. I was expecting her to make fun of me.
Ok I’m done. I do hope you’re grateful. I hope you’ll share a smile
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Matilda the Bugus 