The kids were so excited to have me finish my blog entry yesterday. All they wanted was to go see their Omi.
I did make us stop at the laundromat where we’d be dryering a bunch of stuff and doing a load of laundry. I don’t want to be too overwhelming coming in.
Also by good fortune, Crikett and family were going grocery shopping and honked at me after pulling up! I was so excited I almost jumped out of my skin. My kiddos did the shy thing, but as we turned around the grocery store, they warmed up considerably and were also very happy to see them. They even stayed and chatted for most of the remainder of our laundry.
After everything was loaded back into the bus, we headed to my mom’s house to start the process of killing bugs. We had a cheerful greeting and the kids went straight into the bathtub in an effort to leave bugs outside. Dogs were barred from coming in until I bathed them, too. And after all that was when my mom revealed that my niece stays here more than previous years and they sold the bed that my kids usually sleep in when we’re dealing with things and can’t be in our home.
I’d been asked “why go all the way to Montana to deal with such problems?” and my answer was that we have help here and my kids want to be with their Omi, and I could get all of us out of the bus to work on it and now that isn’t even true. We spent the night in the bug infested bus.
I mean, I ozonated for a few hours yesterday especially after finding out we had no place to sleep and usually I don’t feel anything crawl after ozonating but last night I did which makes me wonder if I’m feeling phantoms or they’re becoming resistant, or if I’m just crazy?
Am I crazy? I mean, I definitely feel like crawling out of my skin and I thought there was at least a relief at the end of this long ass drive but now I feel trapped. My mom asked if we didn’t have a mattress or something, which sounded like if I did I’d be allowed to make a blanket fort somewhere? But I don’t because we have BED bugs. I’m assuming they’re not just scurried away in walls and wood but mostly nestled in the mattresses I was planning on burning as soon as possible. Now my kids are still laying on them…. in them. and I’m crying. I mean, I wasn’t thinking that my mom would be particularly thrilled or helpful for that matter, but I was under the impression that we’re considered even a little. How foolish. The last few years should’ve shown me that. I don’t even have a tent to pitch and put things into and if I fill the garage with our things we’ll still have no where to sleep and get complaints of taking up all of the garage with junk.
I mean, I left the most minimal wood pile and my mom told me upon arrival I should throw it in the trash if I want to make room for a chest freezer to help me get rid of bugs. I don’t know if y’all know anything about the current wood prices, but I’ve never considered throwing usable wood out as a good idea anyway.
since my arrival I’ve been getting shushed because I’m “too loud.” I brought dinner material and cooked Spinat Strudel as my kids have been yearning for such. I usually don’t make it in the bus, though I have before, because it’s such a flour mess and a waste of ingredients as the dough package comes in 2’s and my oven size and dishes only allow the use of one and I certainly don’t use a full thing of feta even on the double doughs.
The kids are happy to be here. I guess that’s what matters.
I’m feeling pretty dumbstruck. Like I could’ve used a warning ahead of time. Maybe I could’ve discussed options on some level instead of just being left out again. Yesterday as the situation hit, I built a wall around myself. Be strong Laney. It’ll be ok. You ARE loved. But this morning I’m just not at any capacity yet. What am I sposed to do or react about it? I feel like I’m about to lose everything, or at least a majority of what I put together in comforts and I haven’t got a place to put my kids where they’re safe.
I am grateful that all my mail has arrived here and has been kept safe. Galixy got her Mini-moon costume and I got a sailor moon one for Halloween. We got a resin making kit and a mini crowbar and some other really cool things off of our amazon wish list. I really need to make our “thank you” video happen. It’s been on my mind a lot but so have a lot of other things…. like getting rid of bugs. I have so much to do. I should just start ripping out, but that’s dangerous as my mom doesn’t want to have spare wood around, I don’t want to possibly compromise other things with bugs and what if I start ripping out and then I’m left with no structures even giving the illusion of a home.
I have to believe that this is happening like this for a reason. I have to believe that everything is going to be ok, but right now I’m feeling lost and I better get it all out of my system before these kids wake up and realize what a looser and mess their mommy is.
I spoke to Oryan first thing this morning and he says he’s looking at 36 hours drive to get to us, but he could be heading out on Friday and be here by Monday. Crikett is such a good friend that I know she’ll do everything she can to help, though it’s not her burden to bare, and I know Sam loves and supports Crikett so much that he’s willing to help me too, but it shouldn’t be their priority as they have their own tasks and lives and there’s no way I could ever repay anyone anything cause all I’m doing is wandering and “freeloading” and sharing smiles.
That’s not true, Laney. People love that we live outside the box. People love seeing Bugus and the kids are such bright and happy individuals. If they didn’t love and support us we would’ve not made it to this point. A very buggy point of feeling left in the cold by family but I guess that’s the modern family anyway. Not every family is like Crikett’s or Turtle & Terrapin’s. Not all of our family either, but I don’t think my dad would let us dismember our buggy home in his yard and even if, he hasn’t got the room for all of our things to be stored in any capacity.
Ok the kids have woken and are fed. My milk frother isn’t frothing my milk so I guess there goes that joy, too.
May y’all have a wonderful day any please be grateful and share a smile on my behalf.
At this point, I must say that we do run on donations and I greatly appreciate your contributions. Every little bit helps and gets us to explore just a little more of this exciting world. I accept donations via CashApp: $MatildaBugus and paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/matildabugus
If you’d like to peek at our Amazon wishlist follow the link below. We really appreciate those special wants/wishes/deferred needs finding their way to us possibly via your help! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3LUAOP5L0M5FY?ref_=wl_share
Matilda the Bugus 