It’s very early morning, so I feel obliged to say “good morning!” to you, though you’ll likely not be reading in the morning time.
I’ve finally a little progress to be able to report! A lot’s been happening and I did start a post around Thanksgiving, but then felt like it wasn’t “appropriate” and by that I mean it wasn’t in the scope of saying anything about Matilda besides “i don’t know whats going on” and lots of crying about it, reporting that the kids are doing well with their schooling despite it not being up to our usual standards of fulfilment through the journey. Maybe I would’ve mentioned that I was kind of dating someone, but all in all it just didn’t feel connected to anything closely enough or worthy of mentioning into this public void…..
So to the news! About the one this is named after! Matilda! Quick recap, the problem: fuel distribution after having replaced a fuel tank pump. One of my mechanically inclined friends said she had to reprime her lines manually and I about pooped my pants thinking about undoing the lift pump fuel line, trying to funnel fuel into that weird line in the weird spot, then trying to time crunch reattach ( meaning loosening the lift pump so that the line can reattach proper without bending/cracking) and then racing to the drivers seat to try and crank the beast. Fortunately, No! This guy ( I will get to telling of him in a bit) put his noggin to it and looked at the online forums and crawled under into the dirt and figured out that it’s the electric going to the pump that isn’t working. So he devises a plan to test said problem by attaching electric line to the pump and then attaching such to 12v battery. SURE enough, the beast starts pumping! Into the line! we hoped! but nope, apparently Adam left a line disconnected?? splatter patter diesel into the ground…. Since it was getting dark and the dude figured we’d have to drop the tank to reattach such line, the project was deemed done for the day. I do figure I can probably crawl down in there and reattach the line without a big pump and drop. I will be complaining to Adam though considering he said it was all hooked back up in place.
I don’t know if I mentioned here, but I straw bailed the bus for insulation, so the climbing under and around Matilda was an extra challenge, as one might imagine. But with a little determination and elbow grease anything is possible…. Apparently even surviving snow and winter, though my mom is really a big component of that survival with her love for us and the electric heaters my own inverter wouldn’t be able to run. Otherwise I’m shoveling snow a lot (that makes warm) or if it snowed I get to go clear off solar panels and that’s kinda fun but definitely very warming. Or getting the kids to shovel some snow, too.
We made a little sledding hill off my mom’s back porch. She’d already been dumping the snow she shoveled off the deck into that spot on the wide stairs, so the kids and I piled more snow and pushed it down with sleds. I showed the kids the frozen creek bed and it’s wonders. Galixy named it “Our creek city” because the snow and nature makes it feel like a village of little forts and hidey holes. I used the chance to clear some dead vegetation out a little… All in all, the kids are very eager to get outta the snow. I get to hear often “I just want a day without snow!!” and I’m like “yah, man.. same!” Like they won’t be asking me for a snow experience after this anymore. They got it. And are about as pleased with the cold fluff stuffing around for days, weeks, and months, as I am.
Also we decorated for christmas. Considering we had two spaces last year to decorate, it looks like christmas barfed into my bus. And not in a festive barfing way either but the chaos that I guess really applies to myself and my life. On that note though. Christmas and Yule are coming on and I’ve had very little income. Literally, Travis sending me inspiration almost a month ago was the only income in almost 6 months. I’m so grateful he was generous! I got pet food, advent calendars, warm clothing, straw bales, and some other miscellaneous things through his kindness.
So this christmas is currently looking like a meagher one, which was another reason to actually report today and ask, very kindly, if anyone would like to send my kiddos some small christmas trinket please?
We don’t need big things, or a lot, but I try to give them some socks,PJ’s and/or books, something to craft? been working on our amazon wishlist to try and make it accessible and easy. So here’s that link: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3LUAOP5L0M5FY?ref_=wl_share
I thank you very much, preemptively for your consideration and kindness! The best gift is always experiences, so helping us monetarily is also super appreciated! but, I’m sure y’all are aware and I’ve said such enough.
Ok, ok, enough spanging, and maybe some scalding tea for yall to lap up as I spill it. I’ve been single quite a while, considering it’s part of the premise of this blog, you’d probably know. It’s not exactly asy trying to make romantic connections while traveling, especially at the pace we wander at. So I was thinking along side my therapist that this being stuck, as unfortunate as I find it, could possibly give me the chance to date. Like whether it’s getting out away from the kids at some point for a casual date, or maybe even finding a partner. Well, I met someone. We had a nice flow of conversation. Our first “date” was running errands. The second was grocery shopping. Like maybe it isn’t romantic in the usual sense but receiving help where I need it is SO hot! He took the kids and I to the Hot Springs a couple times and joined us on some walks. Seemed like someone working on self and life and with want and capability to help with Matilda…..
Except, emotionally insecure and immature. Like not terrible, but he seemed way too willing to let me bare the brunt of it. I was freaked out on twice for “not giving enough attention” because my kids being a priority and subsequently putting any romance thoughts behind their burner is underwhelming or intolerable? Obviously some sentiment of a human without real consideration of what it takes to be a parent, without a coparent especially. No matter the amount of explanation I gave for our difference in pace as I’m not only trying to protect my heart but my childrens’ it kept coming back to my being accused of not feeling the way he wished me to feel. I felt manipulated and put in the position of responsibility over his emotions. Literally lasted a total of three weeks only. It makes me sad. It seemed like we had an approximately same set of goals and possibly a little work trying to put our lives together,, so it’s real hurtful to be rejected. Having things not work out, not because one or either doesn’t want to, but simply because I don’t have the energy to bend my life into his AND consistently reassure of my position where I’ve done nothing but be favorable. Like I kinda hope we’ll manage to make a friendship, but I almost doubt it. Not because we’re not both saying we should friendship, but because his own hang ups and confidence. Will we stay amicable, probably… It’s hard for me to go from talking to someone pretty much every day to radio silence. My brain keeps going over it all, wondering how I could’ve been a better me, realizing that I can only be me in those situations. Wondering if I’m not seeing my faults in the situation, if I could’ve handled it differently, but honestly compared to previous romances, I’m really growing. I’m setting my boundaries and keeping my priorities. Trying to be observant and communicative. Obviously I’m not perfect or compatible with every one, but I’m really trying to exist peacefully and have little to no expectations of what someone can do for me. I was a clingy codependent seeking human, and I simply can’t do something like that to my children or with my children and it’s super unfortunate that it seemed like my attention wasn’t enough, and my words were discounted. And, so….. c’est la vie. I had a nice time bantering and hope-fully dreaming just for it to be thrown back at my feet.
Alas, I will continue traveling with just my kids, pets, Matilda, and I, once Matilda wants to too again. Now I guess I’ll dump some pictures.
Really I’m feeling a bit empty right now. Probably partially from writing it all out first thing. But I also have a to do list piling up of all the things I can get back to….. Which, one(!) abandoned project was trying to locate my pictures from 8-10 years ago and I think I finally know where it went, considering it’s not on the apple cloud They have to be on the white laptop that doesn’t turn on anymore due to the female part on the charging port going bad. But I’m positive the hard drive holds my pictures of pregnancy with Atreyu. The saddest, never to be found again, pictures are the ones Galixy’s dad took during our time together. Besides his inability to communicate with me, he’d left his phone in my glove compartment during the valentines gathering and was upset with me for it had gotten so hot that the battery pack expanded, and he exploded it by trying to pry it with a knife. Unsure how he feels about it now, but back then he acted as if i had maliciously kept his phone in a hotter spot than normal? No matter. I lost out.
Well, that’s what I’ve currently got to say. Kids are watching a youtube german lesson. Dogs have gone potty and returned. Even the cat went out for a look about.
Quick silly anecdote: Atreyu had seen a advent calendar he wanted in October. At target, they carried the illustrious Pokemon calendar, so I got Galixy a Lego one so they wouldn’t be the same, but close enough. I ended up getting myself a chocolate one so I could partake with the kids and or maybe fix up galixy if she turned out to hate the lego one.
So on the last day of November the kids were talking about how I need to go buy these calendars that I’d gotten a couple weeks ago and hid away. I was like “you know I got your calendars already!” and I pulled out my chocolate one to watch atreyu’s face fall. I think it doubled his happiness when I did pull out his wished for thing.
Ok this time I’ve definitely run dry
I hope y’all are having a lovely holiday season. May the magic of peace and love prevade and be less work than joy. Especially to the parents bringing the magic to their children.
Stay grateful and blessed
On that note, I must reitterate that we do run mainly on your kind donations and I greatly appreciate your contributions. Every little bit helps and gets us to explore just a little more of this exciting world. I accept donations via CashApp: $MatildaBugus and paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/matildabugus
If you’d like to peek at our Amazon wishlist follow the link below. We really appreciate those special wants/wishes/deferred needs finding their way to us possibly via your help! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3LUAOP5L0M5FY?ref_=wl_share
We now have merchandise ready for you to order! Represent and support at the same time! We love these shirts and we love you! Check it out!
https://matildabugus.bigcartel.com
CashApp: $Matilda.Bugus
Venmo: available upon request.
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Matilda the Bugus 