Good [current time of day] to you fair child of this earth! It is a gray and chilly morning for me here! Trying to check things off my to do list and this happens to be one of those things.
I started this with serious intent right after the kids woke and had been served their breakfast. The last two passages were written at the very first but had to be redistributed because morning Walmart parking lot vibe isn’t always the most pleasant. I’d managed to wash my face and get some clean up done but I really didn’t want to hang around there too long, so we maneuvered to the Kids Park where I walked the dogs in wind while the kids stayed huddled away watching a documentary I’d downloaded on youtube.
Now that the sun has a solid position sans clouds, the wind is way less bothersome and I kicked the kids out to go play. Gizzi stays on his leash while Rhea gets a bit of minor roaming time. The cat has also caught on that we don’t go too far from the bus. By “we” I mean her. She chills with me then goes to attack a swirling leaf blown into her sight by the wind. It pisses Gizmo off cause it’s flaunting his lack of freedom infront of his nose. But he still runs off too far and goes to roll in crap, which Rhea does too, but he’s more consistent about it every time he gets off leash. He does bark less at people when he’s free though.
I’ve observed that feelings come in waves. I thought it was some sort of instability when I was younger because I wasn’t capable of tracking the length of the spans. Emotional waves distort time. I feel I’m particularly sensitive to the seasons anyway and then compounding those waves with the waves of life and involvement of others, it’s hard to be objective, especially while in the midst. Add hormones in during teen years and pregnancy, I feel I’ve achieved a weird mix of emotional naiivety and intelligence. All this to say that I’ve been catching some spring feelings. Which to some may mean fever for summer or coupling, but for me it’s a deep sigh of a feeling. Like I’m mildly discontented. It’s not something that lasts more than ten minutes but it returns in waves. Like whatever I’m doing in the moment could be just slightly amended. Like I feel gray and unable to find the white to lighten but an absence of black to darken because I’m not actually dissatisfied.
It’s the time I reconsider how I’m wanting to go about minute things. Like whether I want to pimp out this trailer of ours before trying to sell it, or if I wanna rip it to shreds and make it mine, or if I just want to plain upgrade… It’s not like I ever stop tweaking on our surroundings. That’s why I’ve got the bus. A solid shell. But the more I do the little tweaks the more I feel the want to get it up to par but all in all that’s a lot. Little steps
It’s the oompf to get all those projects done that comes when it wishes. Tie to refigure the to do list. and stretch myself out.
Really quick thoughts where we’re heading. Have been saying we’re heading to NoLa for Mardi Gras. I’ gonna follow through on what I said I’m doing…. despite my want to go back east since my dad called to say they were going down to Florida with a minor trip to Tennessee for my dad and if I was going to be on their path and obviously that’s pretty much a week from mardi gras and that makes it a one or the other thing. I did say they should make a mardi gras detour…. but they’re flying and it’s out of the way on the car rental to see family. But that would’ve been so cool to see them. Goes without saying tha they seem to be doing well. My mom, also, is doing her thriving and healthy. Insert inappropriate joke of good DNA so I can continue unhealthy habits or worse, a long road to being rid of them.
Ok, I’m at the end of my logic and in need of soe stretching and carbohydrates. Maybe in reverse order. Then groceries and parts store for a new oil filter (I’m LATE!) I already bought the oil, so… yay me. Then to decide what we’re really doing with today. Atreyu’s voting a field trip because he “just wants a break” from doing workbooks. I don’t even ride them that hard about it so I think today we might just push through that unfounded feeling of his. Not to invalidate his emotions.
The cat 3y66666666666666665rr4 wants to do the writing…. or the cuddling cause she doesn’t seem interested in another attempt on the keyboard. I’m leaving it because it’s her opinion and we’re standing by it…. We don’t care it doesn’t make sense.
Alright. here are the Walmart parking lot paragraphs:
Why does my passion for written art have so many unended projects? It’s currently amazing me how many different mediums and thoughts and projects can swim around my everythings. It certainly makes me feel like a Poet but grasping at the poetry. Like:
Syringes on the island. My head yells, clean them up. My heart aches for the souls safety. My hands shake and I won’t touch. Details passers won’t see. Something I don’t want to connect with me… Move Move Move.
And I didn’t see the capped syringe until in the morning which makes me wonder if it was there all night…. I’m gonna leave that where that’s at though.
Opioids are an epidemic, And I’m not saying that in a judgemental way. I’m saying that in a hurt way.
I wanna not end it on such a heavy note, I didn’t wanna start it on one either…. fucked if I sandwich it in a shroud of pleasant.
Maybe a layer of gray to soften the transition? Rhea caught fleas again and imma have to amend that problem… again. It was a nice week without the infestation.
Is this where I put the lighter ending? How about a bbit of a spange?
I must reitterate that we do run mainly on your kind donations and I greatly appreciate your contributions. Every little bit helps and gets us to explore just a little more of this exciting world. I accept donations via CashApp: $MatildaBugus and paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/matildabugus
If you’d like to peek at our Amazon wishlist follow the link below. We really appreciate those special wants/wishes/deferred needs finding their way to us possibly via your help! I was made aware that the list is looking slightly dated, but I assure you, I have not acquired these wishes. https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3LUAOP5L0M5FY?ref_=wl_share
We now have merchandise ready for you to order! Represent and support at the same time! We love these shirts and we love you! Check it out!
https://matildabugus.bigcartel.com
CashApp: $Matilda.Bugus
Venmo: available upon request.
Feel more than free to Contact me. You can establish such via the Contact Me page here on the blog, OOOOOOOORRR! get on your facebooks and join the group “Spotting Bugus” or like the Matilda Bugus Page. Also availble on Instagram, Youtube, and the TikToks.
I hope you’re beyond blessed, and that many more blessings cross your path in the near future!
Have a smiley day….. ?
is that a something? if you made it all the way down here, please do tell me how that sounds? Cheesy?
Matilda the Bugus 