Happiest of New Years to you! May this year be full of joyful moments. May you not be able to measure the entirety of a year by the not so happy things and moments.
The last day of ’21 surely went out with a bang. Besides morning the losses of Betty White and a couple weeks prior we lost Anne Rice who inspired me in so many ways. Two humans who are very responsible for love, laughter, and drama in my life will never dish new tea, though I’m sure I will stumble upon their legacy in unexpected ways.
The other thing that happened was the high intensity real life trolls I encountered. Few interactions leave me feeling physically drained and ill, but PO always manages in the extreme. The cat had got out so I was in the Gulf Breeze Walmart parking lot for longer than I wanted. Early in the morning I’d seen a cop car pulled perpendicular to Bugus, so when two of them pulled up close to noon, I was unsure on how it would go, but pretty aware of whatever it was that was coming wouldn’t be fun or pleasantries.
Sure enough, They’d run my name and my oops in September came up, but as non extraditeable. So the one cop tried telling me about teaching my kids about right and wrong and how disobeying the law, regardless of them even disagreeing with it all, while the other cop kept lecturing about how “nothing is free.” and how youtube is spreading dumbness and asking if one is being detained is useless and stupid and obviously being a police officer isn’t threatening and deserving as being seen as purely good guys.
The entire conversation was them talking down on me and interrogating me. Consistently asking questions and then interrupting me. Telling me the low-down of “reality” stark and grim from their perspective. It really makes me sad that their life is so drab that they had to harass me for a good hour, stealing my time with the kids and time I could use to do work. They tried telling me that I don’t work, apparently nothing is free, except art. My time and passion, I pile into the things I love reduced to being worth-less in their eyes.
And a big re-cap: these cops would prefer kids to be lied to and hail the public school system for being pretty good. When I pointed out that I didn’t do so well in school, and that they’d repeatedly remarked on how smart I must be, they asked how the homeschooling goes because they don’t consider themselves smart enough to educate their children. So I pointed out that my kids education is my chance to really re-learn the things that teachers failed me on. Besides that everything is explained in the work book exercise descriptions, going at it hands on and with reason to use it makes my kids and myself really learn these things. One cop kept telling me he’d be searching my bus already if it wasn’t for the other officer being present. This other officer kept telling me how he was ok with all these “drug things” and he just wanted to talk (down upon me)
Literally all they did was trying to fearmonger me out of my lifestyle because I obviously don’t get the important things out of it. Important by their measures.
They said that if I was to lay myself completely bare, I probably wouldn’t receive any more donations ever. And that kind of shows how blinded they are by their own reality. I’ve tried my best to be as honest about everything and anything as possible. I’m not trying to hurt anyone or take anyones anything. I’m simply trying to experience this life.
At one point I had the chance to point out that what they were referring to was part of the built society and not completely “reality” and when they tried to catch me into a discussion about that, I simply said that sometimes structures need to be destroyed or defunded to be able to allocate and rearrange properly into a fashion that actually works, but I certainly don’t have the answers. Which was followed by being talked down on some more.
After they finally left, having threatened my livelyhood and children, I felt so ill I could’ve thrown up. And that’s why the dfunding the police would be nice. Why do they have time to come harass me when they could be trying to catch violent and dangerous humans. They ran my plates without being given a reason and then decided to spend taxpayer dollars to have two officers chat with me about how I robbed Idaho of funding cause the “nice police officer took the time to invite me to show” and I didn’t. Like I wasted anybody’s time or money purposely.
I’m still shook and it’s been almost 24 hrs. They laughed at my blog saying that 120 views on one blg post wasn’t a whole lot. I bet they don’t even have a blog and get their only social-media likes from their parents.
Our values may be different as humans and that’s ok. It’s the fact that they “just came to talk to me” whilst in their uniforms. They really wanted to hold their power over someone’s head and talk down on them. Disagreeing was certainly not in my favor.
Worst part is that Gulf Breeze Zoo lost out on our business along with whatever else we would’ve found in the area if I hadn’t been made to feel so insignificant and threatened. I missed out on lots of interactions with bypasses, a chance to share my story, a possible donation; they waved a kind gentleman off telling him they’d be gone within a few minutes than stayed for at least a half hour.
So the good thing come of it is that I posted the previous blog and wrote this one.
I am painfully aware that I haven’t been doing a whole lot of writing here lately, partially because I feel I’ve filled this with frivolous things. I’d said that i’m not conveying my intended message, felt properly and it’s making my writing hiatus expand. Personally, I’d read anything as long as the writing style is good, and I know some people that appreciate my style for sure…. I just wish to properly convey more better.
So, what to do? Imma be refocusing. This summer I started a get to know yourself writing project I really wanna follow through on. I wanna bring myself more clarity and through that, hopefully do better in this life, too.
We’d been doing lots of crafty projects through december. I’ve been feeling pretty brainfoggy through most of 2021, so it’s a bit hard to try and recap myself especially in the positive way I would prefer to.
Atreyu is reading very well and thriving with large numbers with the help of an abacus. Galixy is also getting quite apt with abacus and doing a full page on her own and had quite a good time visiting Immogen while I got to visit with Kim.
Today was a good day. Playing hide and seek with the kids at the park, doing some studying, and having a good drive to a solid overnight allowed Walmart. I hope we’ll find camping spots or find a good rythm for meandering such.
Pics for decor and stories
Looking through all our photos really makes me realize what a charmed life we’re leading. I hear it left and right and the kids have heard it from strangers, too. I hope for many many more… And the motivation to do the edits for videos of all this footage I’ve compiled. 🙃
Who wants more pics in these?
I hope you’re having a pleasant start to the new calender.
Much love and stay grateful
Matilda the Bugus 