Hello fair humans! It’s been a couple weeks since we arrived here at my mom’s and I’m happy to say it was a good arrival.
Back up to leaving Lewistown we went quite a ways with the promise of seeing our lovely Catie for a visit once we made it to Livingston. She visited just as promised! I was so happy to see my friend after such a long time. We had a wonderful visit that could’ve gone on for hours, but I was too tired after the clock got close to midnight.
The next morning we headed towards my mom’s house. We pulled into the gas station and as the kids and I were getting out of the bus, this truck pulled up and the driver leaned out. He said he noticed we run on donation and he wanted to fill Matilda’s tank! What a blessing! What a great guy! He was in a rush and just ran his card before trying to jet off.
I say trying because some gas station lady came out and spoke to him. I have no idea what she said to him but it didn’t seem to be favorably inclined towards us. The guy basically shrugged her off and left. She didn’t talk to us…. I wish she would’ve.
When we got to my mom’s she opened the gate and welcomed her grandchildren excitedly bursting out of the bus with big hugs. It was a sight I should’ve recorded. The moment of joy.
I parked the trailer, unhooked, and parked the bus opposite it so the doors align. I’ve been spending my days pulling parts of the bus apart and reconfiguring it, and doing the same with the trailer. It’s admittedly a mess, but I’m keeping it in my area, so it seems acceptable to my mom.
I’ve been making dental and doctor appointments and getting things lined up for the next winter season to go. I feel like it’s all falling apart though. Like Matilda isn’t running smoothly and the cracks in the trailer are showing. I don’t know what to do. There’s thoughts of a bigger bus, but I’m worried about all the logistics. But I’m looking into that. It’d make me sad to not have Matilda.
I figured it’s silly to be rearranging Matilda’s interior if I’m intending on looking into an alternative but my friend, Saliha, pointed out that it’s better to keep improving until the last minute, if nothing else it brings clarity. I first thought that it made me fall in love with my space all over again, but it’s turned into more concern about Matilda’s engine issues as I drove her to my dentist appointment the other day. She really needed to be forced into starting up after only six days of sitting, but keeping the batteries charged. I fired her up today and she wasn’t happy to wake up, but more willing than the last time. While I’m driving she’s not seeming to get fuel. I say that because she had a high pitched knocking and like a back pull. Still seems like the transmission also could have the speed sensor tested, but I think the computer might be out, more certainly than the speed sensor, one not ruling out the other. But it might also be the injection pump. The breaks haven’t been amazing for quite some time. It’s the front’s but the backs too, and with all the prices of things… I don’t know…. finding a bus is hard too…. And then getting to know it’s ins and outs while making the interior and moving the bug… Sooo many different things that are hard to even articulate.
In October it’ll be seven years since I hit the road with my toddler. Year seven has this fame of transmutation and I wonder how that’s going to go for us…. On such a hoohoo-juju note I wanna point out that life, regardless how you choose to live it, there’ll be hard times and hopefully lots of good times. Just because someone loves their life and lives how they choose, doesn’t mean that everything is always easy. It’s ok to reach out for help. It’s ok to say, “I need a break!” Especially if you have a lot of responsibilities. And On another note, I also want to point out that money hardly comes for “free.” It takes some sacrifice on the receiver. Going to work, one lets the employer say what one does be it bookkeeping, dishwasher, independent contractor, etc. A person standing on a corner with a cardboard sign is giving up societal ego, exposing themselves to elements and society. My choice of work is a lot of faith in the goodness of you and people at large. I use Matilda as a beacon and advertisement. I put myself and my family into the public eye by blogging about our life, making videos for youtube or tiktok. Being a teacher to the kids is fun and hard, documenting at times makes it harder. I really try to meet my kids’ needs and fulfill their wants and dreams. I will always find more things I want them to do than I feel capable of furnishing for them. I feel my work works because I’m honestly trying. The blog on it’s own wouldn’t receive the traffic without Matilda Bugus driving around garnering attention, while trying to do right by my kids, self, and other humans, in that priority list. I say this all to point out that staying alive in this economy is work and commitment and we’re all trying our best. Nobody’s gonna give you a vacation, so ask for it, or grab a chance to kick back a little, preferably not just while one is healing….
A few days ago I received a message about the passing of an exquisite soul, Brinkley Gaia, who will be missed dearly. She inspired great kindness in her lifetime raising her daughter, Heather to be a strong and loving woman. Brinkley Gaia’s last days were spent with her daughter who diligently tried her best to give her mother comfort. Another example of the kindness she inspired is Michelle. Her family and she’d crossed our path in Gulf Shores. I’m so grateful she’s been following our journey, helping out upon our initial meeting and making a generous donation in honor of Brinkley and her life. May she rest in peace.
I keep pushing the above paragraph around because I don’t know how to transition around it. Death is such a betwixing subject. There’s such sadness and grief attached. This year has witnessed so much loss. Anything I could say about the physical being that graced us seems hollow in their absence. I genuinely believe that there’s something after that feels like eternal love. The light shone on dark corners of life. Peace.
We just listened to “Under the Whispering Door” by TJ Klune and I can highly recommend it if you want a heartwarming tearjerker that has a fictional story of what may happen right after someone passes. Now we’re on to “the Gunkle” which is right on such topic. I think next we’ll be doing Howl’s Moving Castle. The book was made into a studio Ghibli movie we love, but it’s been said that Hayao Miyazaki took a lot of freedom directing so it starts the same but quickly deviates. It’s enticing.
All in all we’re puttering around. The kids are really enjoying being here. I can tell because they’ve been absolutely terribly behaved. Galixy’s been whining about all things and Atreyu tells on her and then cries about minor inconveniences too. At first I wrote it off as adjustment now we’ve had some talks and we’ll see how that goes. One of the talks is gonna make it better, or crack the nut of what’s actually going on.
On all levels I’m sure I’m the chaos and it’s not just around me and….. is that backwards? I’m not the chaos, it’s just around me? I’m the chaos and it’s not around me? However, Imma let time deal with whatever I have unanswered in myself right now.
I hope you’re enjoying your season. I hope you’ve got happiness and some grateful.
Many blessings!!
Matilda the Bugus 