This draft has been in my box for a month. I feel like time moves differently. All the projects I felt had urgency became more lax. I’ve finished a good chunk and the left over items require some mental build up. Blogging has been one of those that needs more mental preparation, though, I feel like taking time away from the keyboard for some ideas and subjects to form, can also be important. True, a couple of subjects fall into the back of the mind.
Something pertinent to our current situation is the BLM movement inclusive of what happened to George Floyd. I fuly support our colored siblings in our fight for equality. It is allo of our fight, because the more people receive equal treatment, the more accepted it is for others to find their voice and speak out about thee oppression we feel. That’s why I think all the movements are pertinent because they show us other perspective. “Karen” being mad she didn’t get a haircut is a “light” way of letting us glimps her life and what is important to her. It would be easy to pick a fight with her and make her feel demeaned and unheard, some would justify it by saying it was a taste of her own medicine, but would they ask her how they make her feel with such? Is it their emotional labour task? People do need a wake up call sometimes.
This is really hard for me to articulate because I’m ust kind of thinking. We all have things we shut our eyes to and don’t see in full perspective. All of our views are only small pieces of the whole and heavily influenced by our exposure. I’ve said it before, I don’t know anything about anything, but I’m entitled to form some opinions based on my experience. I believe, that those opinions don’t matter and their main purpose is to keep some sanity. Those opinions are only “right” if we are willing to change them for the betterment. That means, to me, I won’t care about your own opinion if it in some way infringes another humans right to happiness with no cost to you. That doesn’t mean that I don’t respect that you have formed this opinion through what you’ve been exposed to, but that it will add nothing to my experience or the rest of anyones If you think you NEED a hair cut to survive, that’s awesome for you and your vanity, but I won’t be the one to help you cut your hair. If you think you need a group of people, especially of the institutionalized variety, to stop brutalizing the populace, I will probably try to move a mountain to help bring you some peace of mind.
I saw a meme stating that the BLM movement is divisive with statistics of police brutality being just as high for other cultures within the united states if not higher. A couple of thoughts on this is that statistics can be represented in a number of ways. I’m not saying that the numbers may not be accurate in some way, but even if they are 100% accurate, it still points the finger to the actual problem, which the people sharing seem to be missing. Police brutality and institutionalized corruption needs to end. The numbers seen anywhere are staggering and I fully support defunding the police.
I’m sorry, did I say “abolish”? no. We defund education all the time and some people do cry about it, but on the whole, people aren’t looking where the money ends up. Never in the hands of the citizens. San Francisco has pledged to reinvest in more appropriate venues for “citizen management” for lack of better words, and I hope we’ll get to see it thrive. Unfortunately I doubt it. We don’t hear about good deeds on the media, doesn’t release the right chemicals. Bad news is readily available, and we are left to try and find the peace for ourselves. It makes the pursuit of happiness just a little abstract.
I’m about ready to leave the United States. Not that I’m delusional and don’t know that each place in the world has it’s drawbacks. I’m just ready to explore more. See what the world has to show us.
I spewed all of the above at the bottom but felt like the spew was more pertinent than the draft. It’s my journey and I do what I want, so I invite you to take read some nonsense that is the life I love and live.
Did I say about the lovely help we received in Billings? The guy whose arm I didn’t have to twist. Did I mention my stop in Columbus? How the kids, especially Atreyu, was beyond impatient to get to his Omi’s?
I stopped at the grocery and hardware store before heading to my mom’s. My head was already full of projects needing tackling. I made a long preliminary list, and have already needed to transcribe it in a more orderly fashion. As things get checked off, new things are added or appear.
The first few days I felt like busting things out quickly. I siliconed some cracks, gutted the Bug and replacedd the spray foam with leak proof marine spray foam, built myself a pull-out bed, and lots of minor adjustments more. I feel quite a bit more set up, but my 2 main projects are hopefully installing a battery bank underneath (opposite the water tank) for more Solar power, and a mountable heat source. At first I was planning on a rocket stove to be mounted by my now mostly airtight door, but my dad dissuaded me saying he was afraid I’d light the bus on fire with it. Not sure if he’s assuming I’d be running it all the time or through the night for that matter…. I’m disappointed because I want some inexpensive and super productive heat source, and it seems like an over-worry to me…. Alas, whilst going to Oatmen, I promised I’d start listening more. My mom’s friend suggested a diesel-powered heater, right out of the tank, but that kind of worries me since I generally don’t guarantee my fuel levels (over a quarter at least) and even if it’s not really sposed to touch the fuel levels at all, diesel price of around $2/gallon won’t stay like this forever.
The kids have been happy to be back. Galixy took a little to remember everything around here. My niece, has been over a lot too. She’s grown so much over the last year. She’ll be 11 in August. It’s amazing how much she seems to have matured over the last few months. It is possible that the attitude shift in the house in general, or her longer stay and quarantine with her mom had a positive affect on her, or both. At any rate, she’s been playing with the little ones nicely and that makes me happy.
My dogs, the big controversy, obviously my Rhea is fine. My mom doesn’t appreciate her small dog territory claim, meaning she barks at people passing. But now I have 3 dogs. Just realized that Roxy-Doxy was in my dream last night. Gizmo has been trying to let everybody know what a coward he is byy barking at them. His name is being changed to Scooby. He’s scared of everything, eats a lot, and has shaggy in his fir coat…. Stormy has really adopted me. While driving up I started considering if my mom might make Stormy happy and vice versa. Not that I don’t love and appreciate him, but my mom had been considering getting another dog as her Big brute, Leo’s, companion, but had yet to find one suitable. Stormy, however, whines if I leave him behind. He sleeps in Galixy’s bed but follows me most everywhere. I really love these pups. My kids have become independant enough over the last few months. I almost feel like the most physically demanding time of my life is coming to an end (physically demanding so far) Soon the kids will be able to procure their own drinks and read to themselves and then my time will be an empty void of missing doing all those things for them XD. I plan to fill that void with mediation and hobbies and self care. If it’ll happen like that we can only cross fingers!
This is the point, where I invite you to take a deep breath and send out some love. Not to any particular destination, just out. Trust that it will be received. I also really feel the need to invite you to tell me your thoughts. This experience was meant to help me connect to other humans. The travel in general and the Blog by extension. Thank you to the people who are wonderful about putting their two cents in.
Also, my newest youtube video can be watched here: https://youtu.be/3OaOwu1FzVs Currently there are 63 subscribers so I could use another 37 to get this channel off the ground. I also welcome suggestions on how to make such videos better and more accessible.
Stay grateful. Loving you!
Matilda the Bugus 