Colby, KS was an amazing little spot with that playground. While I spoke to my mom on the phone, a lovely lady pulled up and unloaded groceries. Her husband had stopped by earlier and brought us lunch. I thanked the lady profusely, but she ended up thanking me for letting them help us. Then a guy in a Love’s uniform came by and video’d the outside of Bugus, especially laughing at the Knock knock joke I had put on our chalk board.
In hindsight I really should’ve stayed a little longer in Colby. It was nice and warm and sunny. Right across the border into Colorado the wind was cooling down the few rays of sun hitting us. We stayed at a wildlife reservoir that seemed completely dried up and finished the Harry Potter series.
Then we headed to Colorado Springs for a wonderful 2 day visit to Peaches who was staying at his friend, Alan’s. One of whose neighbors was very charming lady named Sarah and her 2 kids, and to balance it out, the downstairs neighbor acted like an ass about people living in vans. Before we left, I asked Peaches to take the kids with their wallets to the store since they wanted to surprise me for mothersday. Peaches and Ben took them to the dollar store while I watched Peaches pup, Sunshine.
And so on mothersday I received 2 movies, 2 mothersday cards, and 2 packs of chocolate. ❤
I thought, for some reason, that it would be warmer as we headed upward. Not so! All the way through Colorado and Wyoming was freezing! Which made getting my tank filled somewhat easier! In Wheatland, Carlos, a handsome man, spent close to a hundred dollars getting us back on the road. He gave me his number in case I break down nearby.
The full tank took us just past billings. At first I took the fuel exit before Billings, but quickly realized in whose vicinity I was and felt like the best idea was to leave. Part of me wanted to see them, the other more dominant part was to protect myself and family from the probable resentment we might’ve faced. So instead of possibly growing as a human in a possible confrontation, I ran to a different part of town.
We hung out at the Holiday gas station for a while. I was just about to put enough in the tank to get us to the next gas station down the road. A truck with trailer pulled in right after I started the engine and went to the pump I’d been eyeing. I pulled the the other pump. Right after I got out, the guy smiled at me and said “Ok, ok! you can stop twisting my arm! I’ll help y’all out! you definitely made me smile!” Paul, a Hardin Rancher full of kindness and faith (he credits his parents, especially his mom for raising him to always give when seeing someone even just a little worse off,) filled our tank to the brim.
Since we’ve finished the Harry Potter series, we started the inheritance books. Atreyu loves it, asking to listen to chapters throughout the day. Galixy could care less, but it gives her a chance to self-entertain, which she’s good at too!
Following my strife about respecting or suppressing Galixy’s wishes, I dove into more groups and discussions on our situation. I feel very reassured that I’m doing the best I can for my child. My intuition to listen to my 3 year old and respecting them, letting them lead me to who they want to be and feel most comfortable with, is still the path I will be taking. I don’t care if it’s “only a phase” and I’ll have to replace clothes along the way again. My child is happy and loved and feels supported. We’ll figure it out as it comes. I wish, my child’s life wasn’t cause to upset someone out of my life, but as others pointed out, it’s about supporting my child, not making others feel comfortable about our life and letting them feel assured about their OPINION. In my OPINION, opinions are there (in non life pertinent situations) only to make ourselves feel comfortable with a possible reality. In that case, opinions aren’t very harmful. Opinions are meant to change as we evolve in our lives and things become a matter of perspective instead of opinion. My opinion on raising children, for example, changed drastically from theoretical to real life application. After all, I’m raising individuals and not robots.
On this kind of vague subject, my mind goes back to another friendship I lost. They’ve blamed me for uttering harsh words towards their reality, completely forgetting their own statement of hurt against my flesh and blood children. I try my best to be a fortress, especially for my children, but I’m pretty sensitive. Especially when it comes to people claiming to be my friend or loving me. I get so hurt, I won’t care that I hurt over their absence as well. It just hurts to think about the person in general and I’m hard headed enough to wait until they wish to make amends to me. I want them to show me that they value me, because I feel so meaningless as it is. I generally feel like people pretend to like me more than they do and that’s why I’m usually by myself. Can’t be told how much people don’t like me if I’m by myself (thanks Ryan, for solidifying how hard it is to be around me in general) I generally try to not impose myself on others. I am aware that my perception is constantly changing and that there are people who crave my company. It’s just… complicated…. and human. At any rate, I refuse to portray my family as anything but for who we are. And I refuse to let others shame us for being human and exploring our lives to the fullest extent we can.
What’s next for us? Stop at the hardware store. Gutting the bug and re-foaming with exterior grade foam. The kids are beyond excited to see their grandparents, but I’m not planning on staying very long. In honesty I want to go back east. But I’m willing to wait and see how it goes,
I have many projects. From transcribing beginnings to finishing the floor and caulking the left over cracks and researching about a tiny firepit I learned about possibly putting into the door? We will see as it goes.
Loving you! Stay grateful!
Matilda the Bugus 