We left Guthrie around noon, trying to head for some camping. We drove up through Blackwell and stopped at Legion park where we had a nice little walk. The small town was a little down trodden and anz passerby we encountered was courteous but still grumbly.
I called ahead to a state park where camping had opened up. If I had just driven there I would’ve probably found a free spot, but I don’t regrett the 16 dollars just for the nice interactions we had. The spot was beautiful with the water spicket close by us. The kids had water balloon fights.
It was a quiet night and a very relaxing morning.
We stayed until about 3 PM after which we headed north towards Medicine Lodge. Freecampsites.net had stated that the park there offered free camping for up to 3 nights. There were even plug ins and spickets available, but already occupied by two RV’s. We found a shady spot and had a nice dinner.
The next morning we had a wonderful walk around the town, had more water balloon fights (we clean up the dead balloons too!), and observed the adjacent creek and it’s inhabitants from fish to frogs and snakes.
I’ve had an extensive debate on how I’m raising my younger child. Some very painful comments were made to me. When I pointed out that her opinion was rooted in assumptions about how my child is acting and reacting, and that I felt hurt by them, her response was that she forgives me for projecting my guilt on her. Mind you, I don’t feel like I’m influencing my child. I feel like I’m supporting my child and making sure they feel loved regardless of what their own thoughts are. I feel like she is angry for my rejection of her opinion. Her statement that all transgendered people must have experienced trauma goading them to that decision and that I’m influencing my child in a way that will traumatize them feels like a terrible thing to say and assume. Especially as a friend who could be respectful about it. I’m hurt and mourning the possibility of losing contact. I’m not feeling good about it. I haven’t felt good about her statements, but tried to give her a little insight, which she took as an attack on her opinion (apparently very well founded and rooted…?)
At any rate, I’m 100% supporting my child in whatever decisions she makes in her life. I’ve asked my Inclusive Parenting group on their thoughts and received wonderful feedback and perspective from genderfluid/transgender children and their friends and family. I’m not saying that it’s not a phase. I’m not saying it is. It doesn’t have to be anything, and in general I don’t put much importance on gender. It’s not me who is making it important in our family. I’m following my child’s lead on what makes them happy. The last thing I want is my child to feel uncomfortable in their body, which doesn’t seem to be the case. The last thing I care about is what somebody else thinks about what we’re doing.
It’s upsetting to have someone claim they love us but not even try to understand us before shoving their opinion down my throat.
At any rate, I’ll keep supporting my child and seek some distance of people trying to shame me into what they think is important.
Hoping you’re well and grateful.
Matilda the Bugus 