Oh, all the Havasu Adventures. I’m, once again, ready to move on. It’s been a skimpy spange but great company. We found George again who talked us into seeing a band yesterday, the Gypsy Wagyn Band. I have a video on youtube about our great time there dancing and vibing with the two musicians.
The security guy at the library, JJ has been very happy every time we’ve come in. He’s a stocky guy with a twinkle in his eye. He’s funny, kind, and has a laid back nature. The kids and I were invited by him to come to Christmas dinner at his place a little way north. I wish the motivation was existent for me, but as it is… I hope for all the best and maybe this mental exhaustion to abate before I miss out on more kind hospitality such as his.
On a less friendly Havasu side: At “our” playground on the beach, a lovely elderly Packers fan threatened us with calling the Police because the kids were barefooted and sweater-less on a sunny warm day with only a slight breeze, because I was wearing a sweater but they weren’t. They were also running kids and I wasn’t and am an adult (blood circulates faster in smaller bodies.) He sat in his car letting his dogs breathe fresh air out of the windows… odd enough.
We had our Yule/ solstice celebrations on the 21st. I stayed up super late cleaning the entire bus, and setting up presents that Holda brings, writing a little note in her name and placing it in our Santa mailbox. I guess another reason it had gotten super late that night was because Chikkie had taken a stroll beyond strolls until eleven, keeping us town-locked until his return.
In the morning, I woke up the boys to watch the sun rise. We got the drum and a shaker out and as the sun crested, we shouted and banged vigorously, screaming “WELCOME BACK SUN!” Then we had a little ceremony lighting a candle we kept burning throughout the day, which was a little exciting since we drove into town for Library time. There I found all sorts of books to read, which we never finished before returning them today, just now. I should’ve taken pictures so I could order them online second hand, alas, we will find what we need again.
We baked cookies, made ornaments out of Salt dough, still awaiting painting, blessed our tree, decorated a yule log, and, finally, burnt it on a fire with a little ceremony, then had a longest night ceremony where I transfered the light of the day candle to the light of our night candle. It also burned all night, which was a little disconcerning to me, but we didn’t light the bus on fire. The kids ate sweets throughout the day. I appeased myself with the fact that it’s one day of the year to bring in the sweetness of the next year, and fed them vegetable juice and a wonderful feast meal with lots of vegetables.
I think the sugar high carried over to the next day, when we went to BJ’s tavern for the Gypsy Wagyn band. They danced and ran nonstop, even after they still did a few laps about the empty lot. Robyn and Austin, the musicians are such sweet people and I’m pleased we got to spend some time chatting and talking before heading out.
Whilst the band played, the ladies behind us getting their party on, kept smiling enchanted by the kids. They ended up buying me a beer and putting make up on my face. One told me I really needed to “jump” George cause “he’s so hot.” Like, I know he’s an attractive man and that he’d be very pleased to be with me, but I don’t just “jump” people anymore. There’s got to be sparks flying in every direction and good conversation and ambition. He may feel the sparks but I don’t. We hve great conversations but it also lmost feels like I’m educating him, not just on my perspective on things, but he wants to adopt them for himself and that’s not exactly for me. Also, call me age-ist, but there’s like 15-20 yers age difference between us. I seem to be attracted to people around my age. He can be as attractive as he wants to be. I’ll be his friend till the end. Hell, I wouldn’t mind him being around steadily. I just don’t fit for him. I’d feel like I’d be making out with my dad, who may be older than him by a bit, but in my mind and heart George is the age I still see my dad as, dark haired and a little beer belly.
Off that subject! Let me tell you wht kind of a creep I was at the Walmart today! preamble: a couple days ago I went to print out Galixy’s picture present and the guy checking us out in the electronic section was nothing short of an eye-treat AND funny. So today when I wandered Walmart, he was there again. I went past the spot he was stocking like 5 times, even bringing Atreyu’s attention to him to ask him if he thought he was cute (he didn’t.) I really wish I had managed to say more than “How are you?” blush blush… I mean I don’t even know anything about him except that he works at walmart and has a son (came up during the photo printing) which usually means there’s a woman in his life anyway. Also, I don’t want to hit on someone while they’re working. Might be different while they’re working at Walmart than waiting tables, but still, wht do I say “think you’re cute, hit me up?” I guess that would’ve worked…. *le sigh
Heads up, I’m beyond attracted to someone when I get flustered in their presence. It abaits if I know them, but if I’m like shut mouthed,eyes searching…. The only time I really got over myself and full throttled was for Galixy’s dad. That worked out until it didn’t….
We’re halfway through Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets but returned the copy to the library as I’m planning on heading south probably tonight, to Chikkies dismay. He’s wanted to go out since we got back out of the library, but I wouldn’t let him take off nd strand us again. Now we’re sitting at tthe McDonalds. Atreyu ate really well, Galixy is having a rough month of not listening and not caring.
My mom and I had a spat. I’m “just” butthurt about the difference in treatment between grand children, which is a significant difference she refuses to acknowledge, so I feel like I need some distance. I don’t want to witness it, so I will remove myself. Too bad for my kids. They already don’t have a father, and then the minimal love they get from their grandma would be voided by me too, and that’s exactly what I don’t want. But I also don’t want to feel hurt by it anymore, so I’m creating distance for myself to find space to heal…. the only thing that interested her about our youtube video was who that man in the video was. Hope she thinks he’s as attractive as the ladies behind me did. Maybe that’s why she asked, for herself, cause I’m mighty sick of her assuming every guy in my presence is my newest love interest. If he was, he’d probably not be in my video, or would’ve been alluded to in another way. The last interest I had, this summer, I wrote about clearly, but did she catch that?….
I’m touching all the uncomfortable subjects. Might have something to do with the weather. All the gray days. I’ve been listening to affirmations every day an trying to introspect. My tarot card was the Devil, which means attached to materials to the point of harm. superficiality, and that’s not who I want to be. I’m trying to let go, it’s just hard.
Oh and I can’t forget about Michael and Little Bit! The sweetest little doggo besides Rhea of course! And Michael matches her completely
So what to do tonight, sleep at the campsite or head towards Parker? Wish I’d gotten a chance to say goodbye to George but he didn’t show up today and his phone has been unavailable. At any rate, this McDonalds time has played out and I’ll be ading pictures whenever we get whereever we’re going.
I hope you have a wonderful [time of day] and stay grateful!
Matilda the Bugus 