I generally have pretty vivid dreams, but this area I visit in my dreams of late seems very familiar, while having a strange note to them. Like the truck stop being very close to the grocery store, but the store being a tiny version of a walmart and I had gotten kicked out from spanging without any kickdowns from anyone. I seem to be traveling in a group and I also seem to have a romantic interest with me. I’m consistently cleaning up. It’s like a bomb hit in my bus and nothing was where it’s supposed to be. And the playgrounds seem like they are familiar and large areas. The map I look at with my dream eye seems limited. It’s like the size of a state or two and it feels like we hadn’t left the area for quite some time, so when we happen upon this downtrodden town again, we look out for the parking lots who will let us park, knowing we know not to spange the area, because noone would help us out anyway. And then the wind hit the area and I couldn’t drive anyway.
I have so much to do and I feel like I’m not getting anything done. Everything is sluggish. I did have to recoup from the lengthy drive. We’ve been here a week almost, and all I’ve gotten done are endless loads of laundry, some bus purging, one farmers market, a friendly visit, inclusive of a habitat for humanity stop. I still have to write some thank you’s for some presents I received upon our return.
My bus currently smells like hot rubber and sweat. It’s quite reminiscent of a tent, heavily used for a week at a beach camp. I have so many projects, though, it feels overwhelming. I’m going to have to start chopping down the list into more manageable bits and pieces. I could use some help. Now enlisting forces. I’ll drive to you.
The friendly visit I had was with Crikett. She has quite a determination I can admire when it comes to having the social encounter she craves. For all of the procrastination skills she applied during her formal schooling, she’s turned into real life assertion and gets shit done. Crikett was kind enough to pick us up, guide us around habitat for humanity, feed and entertain us, and then drive us back. She’s got a beautiful son that she is more than in love with. Reasonably. Aren’t we all just head over heels for our children? She also made sure all her superfluous household items found a new good home with me. If you don’t need something and consider it junk, as a hippie to adopt your item. It’s the helpful thing to do. With her kind gift, I should be more capable technologically, and comfortable, and nourished.
The farmers Market in Big Sky is pretty much the same thing for a few years now. My mom brings some Alpacas and a bunch of fiber work, like carpets, hats, mittens, yarns, etc. And we sit around. My mom sees lots of friends while she’s up there. The socialization is certainly her highlight of the summer week. But we don’t sell a whole lot. I put my jewelry out with her stuff, but I rarely sell anything. Neither of us are very aggressive sales people. I got to see one of my friends from last summer pass by, Braden. He’s a cute kid, seems ready to go on adventures, though he’s very much in love with the area, I feel. I hope I get to see him around, he’s got an easy vibe. I can think of a couple of people I hope I run into at the market on wednesdays. Though, I’m already a little exhausted thinking of how often Wednesday happens in a summer.
I’ll be looking into other things to take the kids to on weekend to do. And hopefully tackling my projects and seeing some awesome people. My fundraiser is going. Not very well, but it’s there. That reminds me, my friend said it wasn’t working but when I checked everything seemed fine. I’m to let her know that I haven’t detected a problem.
The cat seems happy having a friend, a couple of hissy fits, but they’ll calm down. Rhea seems anxious. I think she misses Inca. No old lady dog to keep her company. I feel kind of an air of discontent in the air here. Might just stem of my lack of motivation or overwhelmedness by the staggering list of things to do. I hope we can all cure our own stagnancy from within.
I’m grateful for my children and my family. My friends and my people. I’m grateful for having an abundance of things to be grateful for. I’m grateful I have my period. I’m so grateful I have and am able to use my Diva Cup. I’m grateful my brother trying to take care of things here. I’m grateful there are chickens and alpacas here. I’m super grateful for music in my life. I’m so grateful for my smart and beautiful children.
They’ve been enjoying the yard and the sprinklers. The animals and the change of toys. My niece, who is 10, was questioned by Child protective services whilst in school about my family. All in our family are appalled. Why are they asking a ten year old, over just coming to speak to me? I have nothing to hide. My life path may be an odd one, but I deal with plenty of well checks and know that my kids are healthy and happy. They have no reason to take my kids, and the sooner they speak to me and find out for themselves, the sooner they can put their case to rest about it. Part of the Bus remodel is to make room for an area in the bus to do school work. I know the bus isn’t big, but I’m sure there’s room for this. If most of the bus is dedicated to the kids and their wealth, I see absolutely no reason for anyone to doubt our dedication to a healthy lifestyle.
Loving you.
Matilda the Bugus 