It’s a late night for me here. I have to go check where I left off last, too.
Righty-roo. We did bathe yesterday. First I took a shower, then I threw the kids in the tub. I’m afraid I left my bar of bronner soap and my neem face wash.
Mike played some guitar for us on his 12-string. He’s very talented. I can’t wait to hear him on the radio (if I had a radio….)
We left late in the afternoon after exchanging information with Mike and him giving an open invitation to come by anytime. Since we left so late the only thrift store we caught open was the Goodwill. I bought a couple swim training things for the boys.
It started raining so we parked at Walmart and ate noodles and watched a movie.
Today was gray and, honestly, so was my mood. I’m back on hour 38 of having smoked a cigarette. My friends in Lubbock are smokers and I had hankerings all over the place since I had quit while I was sick. Now I miss my appetite, so I shall sacrifice my mood and test my endurance once more! I just want to be healthy and happy. Why does nicotine infringe on my eating habits so drastically?
Well, we headed for Habitat for Humanity. This location has quite the array of materials. It made me wish I had a better power outlet for my drill so I could’ve measured and fit a pull out bed frame thing into my bug. I ended up walking out with a container of paint, a brush, and a door handle, waiting to be installed once we’re near a proper outlet.
I wanted to go to a theatre with a kids show, but anytime I looked at the clock, we would have just missed it. Instead we saw the worlds smallest skyscraper and a little of downtown WF.
Then we went to Home Depot. I bought some caulk and climbed on the bug. I really hope I fixed the stupid leak. I’m so sick of my bed getting wet. It is still a bit damp from last nights rain since drying out in Gray cool weather is nearly impossible. After caulking, I painted the door frame, the counter top, the parts of the wood box that get wet, and the bug ceiling. It all needs another coat but I’d rather do so in a spot where I can unload some stuff.
I had a nice lady visit. The first thing she asked was if she could give me a hug. A little odd maybe, but I live for oddities and love. She had read some of my blog after pulling into the parking lot. She called me humble and amazing. Not sure which one really applies. Maybe blind, but amazing. Or humble and brainless. Just kidding. I just do what I can and I feel honored by her words.
We parked back over at Walmart. My mood had gone from gray to black despite the solid and friendly interactions I had through the day. Socialization isn’t everything after all. I ended up pouring a glas of wine and watching a movie with the boys. I cried my eyes out. The kids were a bit surprised. They gave me hugs, but I just had to let it out.
I was just drying my tears and cleaning up some when there was a knock on my door. This lovely woman and her husband asked me to drive the bus over to the gas station so they could fill my tank. They also graced us with drinks. While pumping, a Momma and her three kids pulled up behind us to ask if they could buy us dinner. Atreyu had been whining for McDonalds today which was very odd to me since we hadn’t gone in a while. Then again, the gray sky will remind a kid of all their indoor joys.
Maggie bought me Panda Express and then guided us over to the McD’s with a playplace so the kids could play. They were really not very interested in the food. They just wanted to run. I was questioned intensly by Maggie’s kids about Bugus. Maggie and I got some time to talk, too.
I feel like as soon as I just let all my misery escape, it turned the whole day around. I feel almost ready to tackle tomorrow…. Mothers day.
A day to be celebrated. Or feel more intensely alone. We shall see.
Right now I’m laying in my bug. It’s a little chilly, so I added a blanket on the boys for tonight. It’s 11:11 Pm. Rhea is curled under my legs. My eyes are getting heavy. As always, I have a few messages I should respond to, though I’m sure my half written messages won’t feel satisfactory to me tonight. And so I shall save them for later, when I’m wiser. Or just more easily satisfied.
I received an invitation to go to Possum Kingdom Lake. I love the name and kinda want to go explore, but I also don’t want to go that close to Dallas right now. And I received another invitation more along my route to visit a friend I haven’t seen since Nola 2015. Oh, I can’t even vaguely hint without my stomach tying in knots. Not sure, but I could use the help offered to work on the bus and I want to see how everything’s going.
By any means, this momma isn’t on the market for silly flirtations. Actually, that’s like the only real thing I’m on the market for. A flirt. Everything else is too much energy and investment. Though I almost googled how to flirt the other day since I feel so out of practice… or just like a silly person especially with my kids around.
At any rate, we will see what tomorrow brings.
I’m so grateful for all of you wonderful humans gracing my life and perception. I’m so grateful for this experience.
Loving you!!
Matilda the Bugus 