I’ve been here a week. I feel like a nuisance in a way, but now my tire’s gone flat, so I need their jack and help regardless and can’t leave until we’re road capable.
I’m doing my best to be a contributor more than an eyesore in the yard. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t done dishes and minor cleaning. This morning I tackled a bit more because I was on a roll. The common area is actually clean. B used the time to help the kids clean the kids room spick and span. The bus is also “clean”. I unstrapped the kids’ seats and cleaned up the bench, so we could take the car grocery shopping. I spent a lot more than I would just on myself. I hope that my contributions don’t get overlooked and I’m labled as the bum I am not. I may ask people for money with my cardboard sign, but my work to the people is generally consistent. Not the society, but more so this earth. I try to have a pleasant impact.On another level, I feel like A is bothered by me cause I ignore all his flirtations. I’m sure he’s like this with all people he finds attractive, but it’s not like I’m really available for hook ups. Besides the paralyzing fear of becoming pregnant and still alone. Meaningless hookups are not happening at this point and time. I have no one in my vicinity that really gets my gears going. haven’t in a while. I need mental, emotional, and visual stimulation to get anywhere. Just a prettyface won’t get me, as much as just some good brains won’t. It needs to be a package inclusive of good energy. If I’m interested I probably can hardly even look at them. Witty comebacks are a thing. I’m I still polyamorous if I’m not in a relationship at all? yes. I love you all for who you are. I can’t abide most company for long. I also don’t want to offend my company by not acknowledging his advances. My not being interested doesn’t reflect my view on your character. I think that’s hard for humans to grasp. Just because I don’t want to be physical or emotionally attached to you, doesn’t at all mean I don’t think you’re a swell human.
The last couple days have been extraordinarily warm. So, yesterday we filled the pool and filled some water balloons. All the kids enjoyed themselves. G was the only kid that wanted to throw them. All the others used them as squirt guns. They’ve been in and out of the pool all day today when they’re not stuck on screen time. I know B is trying to cut down on movies and video games, but it’s hard to meander a path that’s between two polar opposites. Trying our best and working it.
I really need to get out of here. I love these people but our feet are itching. Got stuff to do.We just got to meet A’s mom. She goes by Granny to all the kids. She is a very sweet lady who’s faced some serious health issues in the last few years. She spoiled the kids. Galixy was shy at first but had fallen in love before she took her leave.
It’s a difference having a kitchen than having my little bus area. The fridge, freezer, and endless supply of fresh tap water make a big difference. I really want to get my bugus built out better and all the things fixed. I’m feeling very primitive and like some comforts after these last few years are in order. If I don’t get it all set up now, when will it get done?
When I have more money.
I’m feeling kinda anxious right now. I want to get my stuff done. I want to be out of here sooner than later. A is an intense person. He may not be home very much, but it still has an impact when he is. He’s not always intense, but he’s been tired and worn out the last few days and it makes a hell of an impact. I want to be back on the road and I need to get this shit done and on.
Wish me luck.Loving you!
Matilda the Bugus 