Good evening! I’ve traveled into a new time zone. Those days and nights are the weirdest for me, though I highly anticipate feeling like I slept in tomorrow. It’a 8:31 right now, so technically it’s 7:30 in our bodies.
I feel like I should’ve listened to my thoughts and sat aroud Clovis another day. However, I left it up to the children and after our morning wake up and puttering around we left along the 60 going South east.
I did get contacted by a van lifer trying to get out of Clovis, I should really reply to his last message. I’ve been fighting my phone battery and my interior battery. And my engine rummbles loudly after starting up and blows a lot of white smoke. but evens out after it gets warm. My mechanically inclined contact guy says it may have a problem with air leaking into the system, or simply a couple bad glow plugs. Regardless, bad news bears. Not to the point of not starting, but it makes me wonder about having made the right decision to go east instead of back west. I definitely didn’t want to be in the desert any longer, but now I crave some woods, or a one ton jack.
We stopped in Littlefield at a playground for some kid exercise and me to fill my belly. My appetite is really growing. I’ve been smoking cigarettes for so long, it’ll be interesting to see how this goes. Not smoking during Atreyu’s pregnancy doesn’t count because I was pregnant and in Austria, where I have a wide array of food I enjoy. The kids played and the animals were out. I just feel super odd being in Texas. I hope not going along the beaten path and having oddball goals for kid experiences will save me from bad attention.
After some play time and lots of food we loaded up and headed to the grocery store to fill up our water jug and buy some ice cream for the hot weather.
Whilst driving the next 36 miles to Lubbock, Galixy fell asleep and Atreyu and I chatted and sang some songs.
Once in Lubbock, I asked FastSigns if they’d print a sticker of my paypal code thing but she said I’d need it in Vector formatting and a screenshot would definitely not print properly as a 9inch x 9 inch. It was hot and I was feeling lazy, so we hung out in the parking lot with the windows down. Chikkie escaped and went to hide in the tree right next to us. The boys and I read some books together.
Before dinner time, I moved the bus over to Walmart. We almost left chikkie he was so stubborn wanting to stay in the tree chasing birds. I ended up climbing the sucker and bringing the cat down. We ate Tortilla soup with Pita Chips. Atreyu was having a snobby attitude about it. He ate a ton of chips, dipping them into the soup, but didn’t want to use his spoon because he “didn’t want to scoop.” I lost it. It wasn’t just that statement. It was his snobbery preliminary to even cooking the soup. “But I don’t like soup!” like all soup tastes the same. And this is like a regular thing to the point where Galixy mimicked his tone and words. But when I lost it, I smacked him. Not a shiny moment in my book. Not even close…. He sat down and ate his soup, as I apologized and told him I was in the wrong with my actions. I also explained to him that the soup, full of beans, peppers, corn, and chicken, was the thing that would make him grow and that I was fed up with him refusing all the good food and remaining the same size as always. That Galixy outgrowing him isn’t the worst thing in the world, but that I want to be able to say he eats ALL the good food. He then told me he was going to grow big and strong so he can be a chef when he grows up.
I’m grumpy today. and bloated. I feel like I’m complaining a lot and that’s not what I like to do. My period must be starting soon because I’m feeling the mood swings. I don’t like being volatile. I want to be laying in the sun under a tree, trusting the boys. I want to be working on my bus and not worrying about it falling apart. I could use a couple days rest with maybe some intense help. Or maybe I just need to declutter. I feel like a lot of my space isn’t being used constructively. Why do I have so many books? Why do I have so many artsy crafty things that I hardly use? Why do I have so much inventory of things I don’t sell? Why are there so many kids toys they never play with anyway? Fluffing fluff. And then all this food. I should just eat it all. But that’ll train my belly to expect that much food on the regular and the all our foodstamps will disappear.
Oh all the complaints. Maybe waking up to my “friend” pissing on the activism I stand for and just calling it an opinion made me sour, but I kept it off my mind through the battles of keeping my phone charged. Gosh, I gotta get to replying to some people I neglected, but I also know I won’t be getting to everybody. I’m emotionally drained and that makes it about physical, too.
9:15PM Is it surprising to anyone that I put at least an hours work into these posts? and then I “should” be doing Videos and editing too? Because splitting my attention between the two munchkins isn’t hard work already. Complaints and exhaustion go hand in hand. Easter weekend. Yes we celebrate, because celebration is experience. And Easter, or Ostara, is pagan, and not just christian, though it gives chances for education on every line and front.
I hope your day was more satisfying than mine.
Loving you!
Matilda the Bugus 