My head is almost ok. It’s been so long since it’s not tingled that this little pressure is the least of inhibitors. So I’ve been trying to make some money or fuel happen. I mean I just recovered for two weeks. Usually I try to make some money every other day. So I’ve had expenses, but no income, and I feel poor. So I got kicked out of the Flying J and the Loves.
Not like I was doing anything. But sit by the bus with my diesel jug, a box of “free rocks”, and my sign that says “May your faith be greater than your fears.” I smile and wave at everybody and anybody. My most said phrase is, “Stay Grateful and be safe driving!” I’m discreetly asking for assistance, but it’s pretty clear I’m asking. So when they come out saying I can’t ask for stuff on their property, I just scoot. I don’t purchase fuel from them. They kicked me out. I’ll go to the next gas station. I try to wait until someone gives me some fuel, but that’s not always realistic. I try to use cash for kid activities and bus maintnance.
So we sat at a park with the most minimal playground equipment. swings and a merry go round. I asked Galixy multiple times if he had to go pee, but he kept saying “no.” It still surprised me when he pissed all over me after falling off the merry go round. So I went to take care of myself and bus stuff instead of playing with my creatons…. I mean creatures. I love them thoroughly, I just feel like they are purposely trying their hardest to get my attention during the hardest times.
Daniel tries to help, but doesn’t always realize when it’s not actually very helpful. I wouldn’t consider him a man child because he takes care of his responsibilities properly, but, as he admits himself, he wasnt very present in his own daughters’ upbringing. Maybe it just irks me that Atreyu thinks the sun shines out of Daniels bum. No… it must just be that I’m not in control of my time. I’m trying to be considerate but I’m also just used to not talking things over and leaving on a whim. I also know that Daniel likes to spend time out in the trees when he’s all stocked up. I generally keep moving about and explore a lot. So in an effort to keep my pace and leave Daniels to his, we came up with a destination about 100 miles from where we were. I’ll be taking the long way back around in an effort for a full tank of fuel and cash or even enough cash to go into camp with a couple projects or even some completed projects.
So I took the kids to the store for drinks and dinner supply and then headed back to Santa Rosa.
While Galixy slept, Atreyu and I made Pizza pockets together. We went over knife safety and cut some red peppers and onion and cheese. We made the marinara sauce, which he dumped part of the can outside of the pot. He’s so overzealous that he doesn’t want to hear the rest of the instructions. I think it went pretty well. We got them put in the oven and both kids ate all of their pockets.
We’re parked off in the corner of the TA. Actually in the very front where we can see the trucks and the corner outside the Loves I will park the bus at in the morning.
I do not feel like doing the dishes. I also don’t really feel like writing. In short, I don’t feel much like lifing right now. I mean, I feel like eating junk food and curling up to a book or a facebook newsfeed scroll. I’ll employ Atreyu in the morning to help me with the washing. It’ll make it difficult in a different manner. I’m just going to curtain up the bus and cuddle up the boys.
We played Uno after dinner. Atreyu got way into it, while Galixy got impatient with us. Now they’re watching Kiki’s Delivery Service.
This is all kind of wishy-washy and back and forth because I’m feeling very worn out and like what we’ve done has been of little consequence. Healing is hard work. I feel like I haven’t been sick like this in forever. Like the “ususal” twelve hour sickness I might catch in a year doesn’t even know what a headache is. It’s only 8PM and I’m about to go pass out. Maybe another netti pot for the day. Last one I did, a slimeball flushed out with the water run, which was a first and felt odd, but I’m prepared to feel it again if circumstances are favorable.
One more silly note: I purchased some small tennis balls for Rhea. I swear I put them in the bus. They are no where to be found, and so I purchased another $2/3 tennis ball set. I hope the second set just magically appears sometime.
Congratulations, you’ve successfully read what I consider a misshap of a blog entry. disjointed, unorganized, hardly any pictures. My mood is interfering with my work in a nonprofitable way.
Loving you, regardless….
Matilda the Bugus 