The sun is shining and my little family is recouperating from a 2-3 day sickness, which is why I haven’t been writing. My energy was being used otherwise by nursing my kids, and my own system. We’re still coughing and a little sniffly, but all the more reason to take it easy another day. I don’t want to share our uckiness with anyone.
Daniel’s still here with us. He didn’t catch our germs, but did everything in his power to help us out anyway he could. Feeding and watering mainly. Atreyu is mostly with Daniel. He’s really been craving a male influence. I have no objections. Daniel is gentle and caring. He helps Atreyu with his workbook, which I like because Atreyu doesn’t generally listen to me about it or gets fed up quickly. Though, yesterday he worked with Daniel for a half hour, then wandered to me and we did some “tablet” work without much frustration and good diligence. All in all, he worked for over an hour, which is an amazing attention span for Atreyu. Grown Male exposure is important to little boys. I wish he had more of it. We play with many kids. We know many Mamas. We don’t know a whole lot of Papas. And in the end, it’s not up to me to make that decision for my son. Whoever they wish to look up to will be their role model. Their dad’s have willingly scratched themselves from the list of options. And so, they have the difficult task along side me to find the person to influence and motivate them for the best.
Well, I think my thoughts are still jumbled and maybe not very comprehensible. I dislike when my mind isn’t up to par, I lose function of random things like depth perception & clarity. A big reason I felt incapable of writing in public the last couple of days, though my mind has certainly been full. Plenty of things happened in society which may affect freedom to the fullest. Plenty of character unveiling on my friendslist (allies will be few and far. Perspective is of no consideration on that front).
“Everything is Politics. But Politics is not everything.” and I like to generally keep my nose clean of such. I just want to be free and human. I don’t want to get involved. If trajectory is real, I will be forced to take a stand. Who is afraid here? I’m not afraid of nature. Things come and they go. I’m not afraid because I mean harm to nothing. I have faith in nature. Mankind has done nothing to deserve that kind of faith. Just saying.
Gotta point out that just because I don’t invest my faith into the kindness of humanity vs. greed, doesn’t mean I don’t see it. In individuals. I love you humans individually a lot and I wish you nothing but the best. I just don’t trust a conglomeration of humans farther than I can throw them. Considering I can’t.
I will now stop with the vague writing around an unpopular opinion. I’m sorry if it displeases anyone, but honestly, what’s more important to me, your opinion of me? or my kids and our life?
I’m tired, but at least a little bit more clear headed than yesterday. Both the boys are with Daniel. I made 3 more pairs of earrings and altered some earlier wire work into more coherent beauty, but failed to take pictures of any of it yet. Been consistently brewing tea, eating little. But now my belly is beginning to rumble and I’m beginning to get thoughts of cleaning up the mess of the past few days.
The three of us being sick was like a canon. Atreyu had it worst at Night, the next day Galixy was the most miserable, and I was the worst for 2 days. Half deliriously laying next to Galixy. Putting a cool washcloth on his head, telling him that this feeling won’t last forever. It will be in the past soon and he will be stronger for having breathed through it. It’s been a few years since we’ve caught a bug. I’m usually pretty on top of keeping the sicks away from my kids. However, when a friend offers you their water bottle, I don’t always ask if they think they might be sick. I kind of expect them to have respect and courtesy of keeping their active germs to themselves. Yes, I feel a bit affronted.
Staying healthy has basic guidelines:
Eat well, keep up on hygiene ( especially your hands), avoid poison. If you are sick: take time to heal and keep others from being exposed.
I don’t even remember what I last wrote about. I believe I mentioned having been to the post office…? And coming in to T or C and camping along the Rio Grande? We’re in the same spot where I had tried to camp last year, but realized that Rhea had somehow not made it along the journey from the playground to the campground. She ended up in Doggy jail for a night. I think I was worse off mentally than she was.
the river here has risen considerably since we’ve arrived. Watching the fish was easier in the shallows than now. Maybe the flow and dubris forced them downstream some, too. Daniel’s been trying to teach Atreyu how to fish. The hooked one so far, but it escaped before they reeled it in completely.
So on the level that I’m still sick, and this entry is a jumbled mess anyway, have another one of my sick thoughts:
we’ve been told to stop victim blaming when it comes to rape. Yet the prime statistic shared is “1 in 6 women experience rape”
the other is “1 in 33 men experience it”
I would like a conglomerate number. 1 in __ humans experience sexual violence.
Or, better yet, 1 in __ humans have been part of unsolicited sexual advances
But we can’t even know that or get fact for certain. I mean, I’ve been violated. My experiences have not contributed to any statistic. And the humans who have trespassed me were spoken to privately in all cases except one. I let them know how unacceptable I found their behavior. Did I handle it properly or most effectively? probably not. I mean, they’re all still out there and others are unaware of their capability to transgress personal boundaries. But my aim in communicating was to heal myself and their wounds. Hurt people hurt others. Maybe that ‘fault’ was ingrained from my first experience and the way things were handled.
My point is that I don’t find it relatable that 1 in 6 (or 4) women have been raped. I think a lot of people suffer from internalized Misogyny. Situations are never fully clear.
Can’t we persecute the evil and hurtful over the different opinion?
Instead of persecuting at all, how about utilizing your energy to clean up this world the corporations are destroying in large strides?
Google Ad sense told me Iwas ready to display ads. I can’t figure it out. May need to see a computer at a library or something to get it up. been about 6 years since I barely learned anything about HTML. Kelp.
Matilda the Bugus 