Is there an ad on this page yet? I’m doing my best to make any kind of money roll in. I have many projects at hand and would like to progress in life. I may also start offering some kind of service…? “Crash course on being poor”? What would I even offer as a consultant? I mean I felt like a consultant this morning going over the human design with a multitude of people, but I’m not certified to do human design and I know so little about it, I can’t charge for the little bit of help I can give in navigating the map of yourself. Everything I know, I know so half assedly, how should I charge? I could give Rune readings, paired with a place to vent? I mean, what am I good at? being a friend…. I can’t charge for that. kinda negates the point of being a friend. Any ideas? I could write on demand poems, though I feel those would miss the point trying to be conveyed.
Why am I trying to figure something like this out now? Maybe it’s partially a dream I had where I was beyond stuck and feeling hopeless and my spanging didn’t get me anywhere but into trouble. Maybe it’s the fact that I justt scraped all $530 together to send off to a government I don’t want to support. Maybe it’s my wish to get the kids passports (I KNOW I was going to do that for christmas and here we are, still no passports) and be able to explore more of this world, which brings it into consciousness that this spanging thing only really works here in the US. Maybe Canada, too, but honestly, I know it won’t work in South America, so getting some income flowing would be a wonderful thing for me. I also know that there’s a lot of the US we want to explore. At any rate, a little income would go a long way in my life. Maybe I should just go to California and get myself on disability, though, that will cut my food stamps out. Then I’d move to Dumpster food over spending money on groceries. Oh the intricacies of my brain when it comes to money.
I want to step away from the money talk. What did we do on this day? Where are we now? Why haven’t I taken any pictures today?
We stayed in the parking lot of the hotel, having a mellow wake up. I consulted about three people on their Human Design, a system based out of astrology, iging, chakras, and many other things. They weave themselves together into a map for ourselves of ourselves. It’s meant to help us lead fulfilled lives, through a strategy and great insights. This system really rings truth in me. It helps me navigate my kids, too. Sometimes it just helps me with the frustration I feel over how they are acting. If you want me to help you get started on your journey through the intricate ways of the Human Design, I would be more than happy to. After I’ve reached my limit and you still feel interested in learning more, I would have sources to refer you to. I’d say I’d charge about $15 for an hour talk about you. I feel it would be worth so much more, but in reality, I’m not certified and I could just as well refer you to be thorough and give my friends/family the money for what they do for a living.
After Haley and her girls woke up, we wandered into the hotel room. The kids went swimming in the hot tub one more time and rinsed off in the tub. I researched neutering my cat, which they apparently require vaccines for? what a hunk of junk. He’s been just fine without vaccines and would’ve probably lived a vaccine free life without my intervention. I definitely need to get rid of his testicles, but I’m not a fan of spending $30 unnecessarily on vaccines, and then $70 on his losing his balls. Do I know a vet who has some hands on info? rubberband? Just kidding. On that note, the kitten just got into my homeopathic medicine cabinet and decimated the ziplock bag of encapsulated placenta. Maybe the rubber band would be justified.
There, now I’ve really exposed myself. I’m not only a crazy single mom of a traveler. I also am super hippie dippie nature witch. I collect plants to dry and make salve out of. I distrust big pharma and corporations. I listen to my inner authority above human authority. I didn’t give birth all naturally, my great regrets, but, my kids are healthy and happy. I can’t go back in time and change my birthing process, nor do I want to repeat it. I am very proud to have managed a VBAC for the second, obviously (to me) that means the first was a c-section. Both baby placentas were utilized. My go-to pharmacy is essential oils, which we use conservatively because they are potent and generally great quantities aren’t helpful either.
After the hotel, we went to a playground so the kids could hang out just a little more. When the gloomy clouds rolled in and doomed us to sprinkles, I loaded my kids up to go laundromat it for a couple hours. It’s amazing how much laundry I can accumulate in a matter of a week. Especially only one Atreyu shirt.
The kids were being wild, so I put them on the bus after having started the two loads, and opened each a mini candy pack. When I came back five minutes later, all the candy was ate, but Galixy had fallen asleep. I told some stories of Animal conferences to Atreyu, but started him a movie so I could research some things online (after all the research done today, I have hardly any recollection of the actual results. good thing I didn’t keep notes. I’ll get to research it all over.)
Once all the laundry was folded and sorted, it was time to organize my money into the money order. It physically hurt pulling that much money off my slim wad, but the lady at walmart showed no signs of seeing my distress over the amount for the money order.
I kinda need fuel, and the departure of cash, made me feel even more pressed to set out my fuel can. So here we sit at the flying J west of Albuquerque. I think the security guy knows that we’ve got our can out, but saw me dealing with the kids fighting, so he’s looking the other way on it and my box of free gems. regardless, hardly any moolah rolling in. a major kick of $5 from the Asian gent who’d locked himself out of his u-haul next to me.
On the other side of me is a family in a pick up truck. Here’s a not so surprising confession: I’m extremely jealous of family units. I’m jealous of the kids who have both parents present in their lives because I don’t understand why my kids deserve to have a father figure withheld from them. I’m a little jealous of the bond in a family unit. Something I felt incomplete growing up; my dad wasn’t very present so how much bond really is there? Don’t get me wrong: my family (my mom and my brother) didn’t feel half assed and we weren’t wanting for anything. I just knew I missed my dad, because others had two parents while I had one. I also need to say, that I do love my dad and I know he’s done the best in his perception and I wouldn’t change us all for the world.
And I know that it’s ok for me to be jealous of certain things and have dreams and longings. I’m not gonna let my jealousy affect how I treat others. I’m just going to acknowledge it, let the tears flow, and then move on.
I better be getting to night time set ups and dinner cookings, though I suspect the boys not to be hungry after the amount of snacking they’ve just accomplished. We’ll probably just stay here tonight and hope that someone fills our mail box.
The kids just crossed out all of my notes on an important pad. that’s what I get for leaving my notebook on MY counter. Sometimes I really wonder if they are kicking my legs out from under me on purpose. My own kids. Every time I get a little bit of something done, they piss all over my floor. Literally what happened earlier today. I accomplished getting an Ad generator thing, I look over and Galixy’s just wizzing all over the place. so much for having a clean bus..
I’ve got to reorganize my to do list. it’s been so neglected, it needs a revamp so I can reprioritize myself. I so appreciate Atreyu cleaning up all nice and properly today. He’s getting it down.
Loving you!
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I so appreciate you for you
Matilda the Bugus 