Here I sit in the empty hole where my door should be. I need framing wood. I need a ride to home depot cause all the hardware stores are far and still dont have what i need anyway. And nobody capable is available. In other words, I’m screwed right now.
Took a 30 minute bike ride for nothing and the boys watched video games while I was gone 🙄. Atreyu is still watching and I’m thinking. This isnt how I wanted to spend my sunday, scrambling to bullshit myself a door together. But it has to get done. A feasible door. I need wood for framing, handful of screws, new drill bit, and a latch. That’s it
Well, I put my old door back on and drove for supplies. Kenny helped hold the pieces for the frame, I recut them 4 times and then we pounded on the metal to flatten it out some. I’ve gotta remark that this kind of halfed assery is very exhausting.
Kenny decided to play video games so I went to the walmart to find some friends that would give me more perspective and ideas. We refastened the braces for the window and thought about hinge attachment. Two women figuring out their door carpentry skills in the walmart parking lot. Plenty of men around, but we were the ones with our hands on, getting things done.
Right now I’m back at home depot. I purchased an expensive plexiglass pane and some spray foam cause I know it can only help the structure.
So the plan for tomorrow: call the dentist and get Galixy in. Cut plexiglass minimally and attach. Foam structure. Attach hinges. Make lockable with sliding lock.
That sounds pretty solid. I got kicked out of home depot parking lot and drove back to Garland’s. I dont feel his vibe being very welcoming anymore, so tomorrow after little help from his things I’ll drop some change in his donation box and grab my things. I feel like a mess right now and who votes against helping a single mom out. I might look like I get my shit together, but some semblance of help goes a long way. Just saying. Especially when everything’s tumbling on me at once.
I mean, we are only given what we can bear and we can endure a lot more than we anticipate, but when the hell do I get to just put my head under a pillow and give up? Would somebody pick up the shambles? Of course not, everything would still be where I left it, except it wouldn’t. It’d all be thrown into worse chaos by my kids.
Taking a deep breath. I feel frantic and on the brink of crying, but tired and half defeated, half done with my project. I dont know what I’m doing with myself except following motions. I have a large to do list that’s for sure. I need to add some fun things to that to do list. I’m definitely gonna head towards some hot springs if this dentist works out, if not, down to Nogales walk across clinic.
I cant wait to sleep.
Loving you
Matilda the Bugus 