Just two days ago, I was feeling like a good human, following my mission. Right now, I’m feeling smudged and misunderstood. A migraine seems to be coming on. I’m torn between hiding and curling up to escape, or taking the boys to a playground. My head isnt computing very well and I feel like it’s not making much sense and the light spots are really bothersome. I wont drive until I feel at least a little better.
Yesterday, we spent the entire day at walmart, trying to manifest donations. The boys did very well playing, except that our new alphabet tablet was too popular. I’m usually not the kind to spend money just to appease a fight, but ABC’s are important and we’ve been trying all kinds of techniques to get them down, so we purchased another. They are no longer fighting over it, so I feel successful.
I had some company for the evening. The kids got a ton of attention from people who enjoy us for who we are. That felt amazing, not worrying (or worrying less at least) about my kids being burdens, or there being some silly expectation.
I saw a friend vent on her Facebook and decided to post something supportive. Unfortunately, a guy I’ve seen as a mysogenist since he tried to purchase me off my ex (read that again, it’s real and messed up), took my support towards a female as an attack on him? All I said was that I understand shes having a rough time, but I have faith in her making it through the rough patch and before I knew it I had two men telling me what kind of a man hater I am. I just gotta point out that I keep as much a distance from toxic females, non binaries, or males. I dont give a damn what’s between your legs. Sex is not a motivator to me anymore.
At night it rained hard and it took me forever to fall asleep. I had bad dreams and kept waking up. The passenger side of my bug leaks, so I’ll have to find a way to water proof it. We spent most of our morning playing in the bus while it rained, now we’re at the park. Galixy is napping and atreyu found friends.
Theres a hard freeze warning for the are so I’m mentally preparing myself for a cold night. We may do a family bed to keep us warm and cozy tonight. Not sure how to escape the cold when it finds you in the desert. Time to get the kids passports, as I was planning for Christmas, and arrange our balls to look into the southern hemisphere.
The boys and I have been working on our German. One of our books contains a “schultüte” which is a paper cone stuffed with goodies to sweeten a child’s beginning of schooling.
They receive this on their first day of first grade. Atreyu really liked the idea. He had a bit of cry when I told him that it isnt a thing in the US. We spoke about it and my conclusion is: when he’s worked hard and knows his ABC’s and how to write them, I will somehow procure him one of these trifle items. Maybe he’ll take it as motivation and initiation to his homeschooling career. He is smart, but something is blocking him on putting any effort into projects or learning. The german seems to interest him most, but that leaves me sad and longing for Austria.
My migraine abated a little with a pleasant visit from Carol, checking on me with the Joe situation. Before all of the nonsense went down, I had met her and her travel companion, in a walmart parking lot. Both ladies, Carol and Annie, told me they had a terrible feeling about him and warned me to keep him at arms length which i had assured them i was being careful. Just days after meeting them, the whole fiasco started, so i had to fill Carol in on what happened. She hugged me hard, voiced concern that he may find me. I so appreciate the love these women are carrying around in their hearts. They are the energy I’m attracted to most: powerful, compassionate, gentle female. Beauty from the inside shines out. Carol was wearing the pendant she purchased on our first encounter.
I’m going to enjoy the sun now and hope the rays and H2O chase away this pesky migraine feeling.
Loving you!
Matilda the Bugus 